A Certain Irony

(Before you read further I need to stress that the friend referred to in this blog is, indeed, a friend. If he ever reads my blog, he may wonder, but I really do consider him a friend. Really. I just found the following incident ironic.)

A couple of weeks ago I received one of those forwarded e-mails from a friend of mine. It was entitled, "Too Busy for a Friend." It told a story, real or imagined, of a teacher who assigned each student the task of writing down the names of the other students on a piece of paper and then writing the nicest thing they could say about that student. The teacher collected the papers and the following day passed back to each student what their classmates had written about them. The students were surprised and pleased with what their classmates had written. As the story unfolds one of the students is killed in Viet Nam and at the funeral the deceased's parents pull the teacher aside to tell her that the student had carried that paper in his wallet all those years. One by one the classmates tell her that they, too, have carried that paper with them and have read it time and again.

The e-mail closes with these words, "So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late. And one way to accomplish this is: forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful. If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care. If you're 'too busy' to take those few minutes right now to forward this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships? The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at reaching out to those you care about."

Now here is the irony for me. I would have felt more appreciated if he had actually taken a moment to write something nice about me to me. He thought of me, yes, but what did he think about me? The closing of the e-mail intimates that he thinks I am "special and important", but why? Maybe I have a different Love Language, but I didn't feel particularly special or important since I'm technologically savvy enough to know he may have forwarded this to everyone on his e-mail list in less than a second. (Fortunately he BCC'd me so I didn't have a list to scroll through before I got to the forwarded e-mail. The downside is I also don't know if he sent it only to me because I am so "special and important" or if he included everyone in his address book.) I wish he'd taken a minute to actually replicate the real or imagined scenario and written "the nicest thing he could say" about me. Maybe he was "too busy".

Out of Town When the Big One Hits

Sharon checked her e-mail in Vancouver, B.C. today. A friend from the Central Coast of California had written to describe her mom's experience of today's earthquake in Southern California. Both because we are in British Columbia and because we are on vacation, we had no idea. We called Sharon's mom, and she's fine, but we both mused on what it would be like to be in British Columbia when California falls into the ocean.

As a sidenote, our son, who is staying with Sharon's mom while we're gone, called her from work today to make sure she was o.k. It's great when you see your kids grow up to be adults. Atta boy, Jon.

Everyone Wants to be Historic

Historic: Significant in history, important in or affecting the course of history
Historical: Formerly existing or happening, existing, happening, or relating to the past

Driving through California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Idaho, Montana, Washington, British Columbia and Oregon, it has become clear that those who designate towns and sections of towns do not understand the difference between something being historical (That is, it happened or existed in the past) and historic (That is, it had a significant impact on history). What Sharon and I now say to each other as we pass yet another "Historic" district, town, province, etc, is "Historic, which being interpreted means, old."

In their defense, what these local or state officials probably meant is that this town has actually survived the usual natural disasters and real estate speculation, so this alone makes it significant. But the Historic designation seems more to be about getting people to not drive past your town or district at 75 MPH. Instead they want you to stop and spend money on things you can find at home for less. (Is my cynicism showing?)

But there may be another reason why so many people want their town or area designated as Historic. We all have an overwhelming desire to matter. We don't want our town to be forgotten. We don't want our history to be forgotten. We don't want our people to be forgotten. We want those who pass through to realize that at some level every town, and the people who live there, are historic. Certainly from a theological perspective, that is the case. Nothing and no one is insignificant to God. Even a cursory reading of the Bible shows that everything and everyone matters. Maybe I should start wearing a tag that welcomes people to "Visit Historic Paul Schliep."

Chopsticks

Our B & B in Vancouver, the Light Heart Inn (http://www.lightheartinn.ca/) is within a few blocks of Commercial Drive (http://www.thedrive.ca/), a must for any visitor to Vancouver. There are French Moroccan, Italian, Greek, Ethiopian, Mexican, Thai, Jamaican, Nepalese, Japanese, Chinese, Mongolian and other assorted restaurants. Wanting to eat ethnic while we're here, we went to the Szechuan Chongqing Seafood restaurant (http://www.szechuanchongqing.com/). We were seated at a table where the live lobsters and crabs could watch us from the comfort of their tank while we ate their friends. Rather than put them through that, we ordered the spring rolls, sweet and sour chicken, and beef broccoli and rice.

The food arrived. That's when I noticed the chop sticks where my silverware should be. Now I was in a quandry. Maybe it was because I was eating in an Asian restaurant, but suddenly saving face was a big issue. I couldn't be in the bastion of ethnic restaurants and ask for a fork. They'd know I wasn't a local. (As if my American accent hadn't already given it away.) So I picked up the chop sticks and proceeded to eat heartily. I even cleaned my plate, save for a few stray grains of rice. It was hard work and I ate much more slowly than I normally do. But I did it.

It makes me wonder. What else could I do if I simply decided to try? What skills have I never developed, simply because it would be hard and, initially, potentially embarassing? What foods have I failed to enjoy because I never tried them? More than I would care to admit, I'm sure. So during this week, we're going to try at least the Nepalese restaurant (since Kelli was there some years ago) and the Ethiopian restaurant (since our friends the McClary's spent time there and love the food). And when I get back to California, who knows? Skydiving? Underwater basketweaving?

Do Your Children a Favor

My parents are reaching their 80’s and considering how to slow down gracefully. Part of that decision is whether to remodel the house they’ve lived in since they were married 60 years ago or to move into a smaller place that automatically requires less upkeep. They are finding it difficult to decide. One evening Sharon and I sat with them and talked through options. I had to be quite directive (wearing my interim pastor hat which allows me to cut to the chase) with them regarding all the stuff in their garage and in their basement. I told them that whether they stay where they are or move somewhere else, they have to tackle the garage and the basement. For the sake of their three children, they need to downsize their stuff by giving it away or throwing it away. They need to make decisions about their stuff while they still have decisions to make. The reality is that if they wait until they are unable to go through their own stuff (sometime in the next 20 years), my siblings and I will order a dumpster and simply fill it to the brim with their things.

For those of you who have been acquiring stuff over the years, don’t wait until your kids are sitting in the living room with you appealing to you to get started. Start offloading now. There is a great freedom in lightening your load. And your children will thank you.

The Gift of Place

It is a point of theology with me, taken from 1 Corinthians 12, that we are given not only a spiritual gift, but a place to use it and a Holy Spirit-produced result. From time to time I am reminded how good that is. When I attended church with my parents on Sunday night I realized how grateful I am that I have been given the privilege of serving Jesus in California among Evangelical Free Church of America believers for the past 18 years. It’s not that I couldn’t minister in Coeur d’Alene, but like a missionary new to the field, I’d have to study the culture and adapt to it.

Attending the church was a vivid reminder that expressions of public worship are cultural. The forms this church uses I’m sure help the worshippers to connect with the Father. But I kept noticing the pastor in coat and tie and the use of the hymnbook and the singing of “Count Your Blessings” followed by a time of sharing “how God has blessed you.” The pastor’s sermon was much like our experience in Pennsylvania at the reformed Presbyterian church in which a member of the Sunday School class dodged the plain reading of the text “He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world,” (1 John 2:2) by saying that “obviously” John didn’t mean the whole world, but only those who are chosen by God to be saved. His comments during the sermon on Moses were filled with dispensational observations that left the text gutted (in my opinion) of any application of actual story and got entangled in issues of how one was saved under the old covenant and how one is saved under the new covenant and the security found in the new covenant and the lack thereof under the old covenant. (As a side bar, I wish the pastor had emphasized the fact that despite the discipline exercised on Moses, not allowing him into the land, it is clear his salvation was absolutely secure since Moses shows up at the transfiguration.)

All this to say, I have become enculturated to Central and Southern California and I love it and I’m so thankful to God for the privilege of being there. And I am grateful that there are faithful people who know and are part of the culture in Northern Idaho so that Christ is preached and lived among all people.

Remembering Wendell

At Sunday night church in Coeur d'Alene, I saw the widow of Wendell Little. Wendell was a contractor who went to the church I attended after I came to Christ. He hired me to tote and fetch for him. Looking back I think he hired me more so that he could influence me for Christ than for the actual work I could do for him. (I wasn’t very good at anything beyond carrying and lifting and suggesting it might be time for a coffee break.) Looking back I realize that Wendell kept shifting conversations to living out my new faith. Wendell wasn’t a systematic theologian, he was a practical theologian. He had a love for Jesus and a heart for a teenager who had just met Jesus. He never preached at me. He didn’t take me through “10 Basic Steps to Maturity” or “Design for Discipleship.” Wendell couldn’t always give me chapter and verse, but looking back I realize he gave me a model of what it meant to be a follower of Jesus. He worked me hard and sat with me over coffee and he pointed me to Jesus. Always to Jesus.

Going Home Again

As we drove through Coeur d’Alene, it was amazing how people’s names came back to me. Names I hadn’t thought of in the 38 years since I moved away. It was a graphic reminder of how much we are marked by our early years, whether we realize it or not. These were people who played a role, however large or small, in imprinting me for good and ill.

In the evangelical world we often assume, without scriptural warrant I might add, that having come to Christ we simply become new creatures and our past has no continued impact on how we view life or the choices we make. It is true that Paul exhorts us to “forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13) and he states clearly that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) But the fact that he has to intentionally “forget what lies behind” assumes that “what lies behind” is what is most naturally what he thinks about. The reality is that we are more marked by where we’ve been than we are willing to admit. This is why we need to continually renew our minds and allow God to change us from the inside out because for years we’ve been changed from the outside in. Unless we are intentionally allowing God to disciple us in all the areas of our life, where we've been will be were we are.

The Black Swan

Pocatello, Idaho, is not really on the way to much of anywhere, but if you ever get to Pocatello, be sure you stay at the Black Swan Inn. There are 12 “themed” rooms to choose from. We stayed in the Wild West room. This is the first hotel I’ve stayed in where I just kept walking around the room, chuckling. Murals of western scenes, a coyotes sitting on the faux fireplace, the sunken tub where the water goes into the tub by first running into a wooden trough, the shower head that is a watering can, the canopied bed with the red brocade bedspread, the bathroom with the crescent moon on the door. After the initial joy, I found myself continuing to chuckle throughout our stay. I don’t think we’ll paint murals on the wall at home or buy a plaster coyote (which Sharon actually threw a towel over because she thought his eyes were following her around the room), but it was great fun to stay at a poor man’s Madonna Inn.

We're Not in California Anymore

Montana is definitely not California. For instance, in Montana they have cattle guards at the beginning of the highway ramps to keep cows from wandering onto the highway. In Clinton, Montana, they have a testicle festival (I promise I will not reference the 42rd president). The billboards (yes, billboards) announcing this annual event show a cartoon cow standing upright with his front legs crossed in front of himself looking very panicked. In Montana they have casinos in gas stations, so you can fill up your car and lose your life savings all in one stop.

Utah has its own cultural differences. In Cedar City, “Fiddler on the Roof” is part of their Shakespeare Festival. In Saint George, Utah, the Sunrise Breakfast at the Days Inn is a choice of donut, bagel, or toast and two kinds of corn flakes (frosted or unfrosted) and the worst coffee in lower 48 states. On this trip I’ve realized again that California culture is the norm by which all other cultures are measured. (See my June 30, 2008 blog on “…centric”.)

ASR

Sharon has coined a term for me. I’m ASR. This is not to be confused with AR (anal retentive). This is anal semi-retentive. I don’t have to ALWAYS have things my way or be in control, but I do prefer things to be done the way I want them done. I don’t fixate on having forgotten to take along a tall kitchen garbage bag to put my dirty clothes in so that my dirty clothes don’t mix with those I haven’t worn yet. I think about it several times a day, but I don’t fixate on it and I simply ask my mom for one when we get to Coeur d’Alene (a full two days after leaving Huntington Beach). I do sleep better now, knowing that my dirty clothes are not mixing with my clean clothes, but that is decidedly different than if I were AR and HAD to have my clothes segregated. I don’t have control issues, unless I’m not in control.

GPS

Unlike our trip in 2003, this time we have a GPS which allows us to find where we’re going as well as nearby restaurants, gas stations, theaters, etc. On our second day we discovered the limitation of the GPS. No big picture. We were getting low on fuel and getting hungry. We asked the GPS to find us the nearest gas station and we followed the directions. The problem was, as it turned out, that the nearest gas station was 5 miles east of the highway in Logandale, Nevada. Had we had a map along, we would have noticed that just 6 miles north was a smallish town where we could have stopped for gas and for dinner. In fact, we did have dinner there.

There were other times we wondered where we were in the journey. The GPS would tell us how long until we arrived at our destination, but it didn’t tell us what was just beyond the 3.5 inch map on the screen. We had no sense of the bigger picture. It created a type of tunnel vision.

In the same way, we need other believers who help us see the bigger picture. How easily we get focused on the details, missing the fact that if we would simply invite another Christian into our life, they might be able to point out that if we simply continue the direction we’re going we’ll actually save time or energy. Or they may know that taking the trip 5 miles east will actually save us 20¢ a gallon (which it did). While we have very clear instructions in Scripture, it’s helpful to have those who have walked before us to help us see the larger context of the truth.

Canyon View

After leaving the restaurant in Mesquite, Nevada I noticed a sign for an area called Canyon View. I laughed about how street and housing developments get named for things that are nowhere to be seen. Falcon Rim has no falcons and it not on the rim of anything. Ocean Breeze Estates is so far inland that you're lucky if you called it Oscillating Fan Estates. So as we were joking about the fact that Canyon View overlooked a rather large arroyo, but nothing more, we began our drive through the Virgin River Canyon. It is spectacular. The 45 degree angles of the striations. The shifting colors in the fading light of day. The winding river cutting its way through stone. It was the highlight of what had seemed, visually, a pretty boring day as we drove from Southern California through Las Vegas into Utah.

I have to hand it to those people in Canyon View. They got it right.

On the Road Again

Back in 2003, Sharon and I took an 11,000 mile, 33 state road trip. It was amazing. On that trip I journaled about things I saw and, in some cases, the spiritual parallels. (These musings became a book that is in its 4th printing. One batch of 100 at Kinkos that were actually bound and looked like a book and 3 copies on a Xerox machine on 81/2 x 11 paper.) Well, today Sharon and I hit the road again, but with a more moderate itinerary. We'll be in 8 states and British Columbia.

Toward the end of today we were using the GPS to find someplace to eat. We located Pizza Bella, an Italian restaurant in Mesquite, Nevada. The food was good and we were glad we randomly found this great little, non-franchised restaurant. As we got out of the air-conditioned car into the high 90's, low 100's Nevada heat, we both noticed the front door of the restaurant. There on the metal pull bar of the door, permanently affixed with a zip strip, was a towel. It took us both a moment to understand. This was a cultural thing. Rather than risking a lawsuit over third-degree burns on the customer's palm, these restaurateurs have anticipated what the heat does to metal door handles and the dire consequence to the very people they want to reach. Rather than sitting around complaining about the heat, they have taken steps to do what they can to minimize the problem. They certainly weren't going to be able to do anything about the heat and they probably were not going to move their restaurant to a colder clime. After all, if they moved the restaurant to Nome, what are the people in Mesquite going to do for fine Italian dining. So while they couldn't do everything, they did what they could.

How many churches today make excuses for why people won't come. The facilities, the staff, the music. I read through the book of Numbers this morning and was struck again with the incessant whining of the Israelites. Things were never good enough. In fact, slavery in Egypt looked better to them than their current circumstance. How easily we look back at the good old days and complain about today instead of doing what we can today to make each person's experience at church as good as it can be. Maybe we all need to zip strip a few more towels to our door handles and invite people in. They may find what they're looking for.

Reports From my Children

Nothing could make me happier than getting reports that my children continue diligently in the way of Truth! 3 John 1:4 (The Message)

Early in my ministry I didn't understand, on an experiential level, the truth of John's words in his third letter. Now that I've been involved in vocational ministry for more than 30 years, it has taken on a deeper meaning.

Over the past few weeks I have received e-mails from, or spoken to, young adults who were children in our church at Santa Margarita. At a recent wedding on the Central Coast I was also able to re-connect with people who were (and continue to be) adults in the church at Santa Margarita. In those conversations, I was delighted to hear (without my prompting or inquiring) that they were continuing to follow Jesus. When a pastor preaches and teaches week in and week out, he sometimes wonders if what he is teaching, and the example he is attempting to be, makes any difference at all. Turns out, through the power of the Holy Spirit to transform lives, it does. Most Christians, whether paid clergy or unpaid volunteer, never get to hear how God has used them to help another Christian "continue diligently in way of the Truth." But when we do, it's a great, gracious, encouraging gift.

...centric

When I was in St. Louis, MO last week, I was vividly reminded how centric I am. I was driving on I-44 when I came to the junction with I-270. The signs said that my options were Chicago or Memphis. Chicago or Memphis! Neither of those cities are in Missouri (I know because I checked.). Living in California the last 33 years, I've acclimated to the fact that unless you are within 10 miles of the Oregon, Nevada or Arizona border you are not going to see listings for cities outside of California. After all, why would you be leaving California anyway? Plus, we have so many cities to choose from within the state, why would we show you where else the highway goes?

How easily we all narrow our world so that we feel we can better understand and function within it. Yet how wide is our world. I love to think of myself as cosmopolitan rather than provincial, but the reality is that I am, as are you, far more provincial than I care to believe. I know "my people" and "my place" and I like it that way. And I expect others to think and act like me and my people. But if we all did that, think of how much of the glorious tapestry of God's diverse creation would be lost.

I need these periodic reminders that not all roads lead to California. And not all ways of living the Christian life or doing ministry lead to white, Germanic, Evangelical Free middle-aged men.

Sunrise, Sunset

I don't remember the exact date, but I do remember the setting. I was watching "Fiddler on the Roof" for the umpteenth time in our living room in Santa Margarita. For years I had identified with the daughters and wondered why Teyve couldn't see how much they were in love and how he couldn't really control change anyway, so why not give his blessing? Now as I sat watching I thought "How can his girls tear out his heart like that? Don't they understand how much he loves them and wants the best for them?"

I knew I had crossed the Rubicon. There was no going back. I was a parent.

What I didn't know at the time was that my own children would choose, and be chosen by, wonderful adults who love Jesus and love my kids. I didn't know that I would grow to love and appreciate the people my children would marry. I certainly hoped that would be the case, (and I certainly planted those seeds early and often) but I know how uncertain life is and how wonderful and challenging free will is.

Last Friday my son proposed to his girlfriend and we couldn't be happier with his choice. She is everything he needs and he treasures her (and shows it). Turns out your kids don't have to rip your heart out. Sometimes they just break it gently by growing up.

Just Because You Can...

Next weekend, Sharon and I will join a group of friends from Santa Margarita in Solvang to enjoy a PCPA production. These are friends of as many as 16 years and as few as 5 years. We've prayed together, laughed together, questioned together. They are, primarily, the people in our Home Group who meet each week to encourage each other in our journey with Christ.

When these occasions arise that allow us to spend some time our friends from the Central Coast, I begin to feel guilty that I haven't stayed in touch as much as I thought I would when we left. (That is, until I remember that they, too, haven't done much in the way of initiation of contact). I could call or e-mail regularly, but I don't. Sometimes I fear it is "out of sight, out of mind", but that just isn't the case.

What I think is happening (on both sides of the relationship) is a recognition that our primary investment of time in relationship is (and should be) with those who share physical proximity. That is, we need people "with skin on" who can help us through the seasons of life. A phone call is great for reporting information such as "How are the kids?", "Isn't it great that the Celtics lead the series 3 games to 1?", "How is the pastoral search going?" What e-mails and phone calls are not so good at is "What were you thinking?", and "Your words say one thing, your face says another", all the while placing an arm on your shoulder.

Earlier generations wrote occasional letters when someone moved away. But the expectations of how often those letters would arrive were much less than our expectations with today's instant communication. Our current expectations fail to recognize that God created us for relationships in proximity. It doesn't mean I don't love my friends from the Central Coast or that they don't love me. It doesn't mean we won't thoroughly enjoy one another's company next weekend and pick up where we left off, we will. (To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca", "We'll always have the Central Coast.") What it does mean is that the idea that we will maintain the same level of intimacy over the miles is a mistaken idea. We so appreciate the fact that Paul wrote letters to friends he knew (thus giving us much of the New Testament), but repeatedly he speaks of his desire to be with them. He understood the power and blessing of relationship in proximity.

Hearing from my Fans

How great is this. I have heard from all three people who read my blog. The friend I wrote about in my last post called the night I published it to ask if he had really offended me and didn't I understand he was kidding. I guess my tongue wasn't clearly enough placed in my cheek when I wrote the post. I thought the copyright logo on Kleenex would give it away.

Then another friend wrote me to tell me the guy I referred to probably wouldn't go to a movie with me unless it was Rambo. I laughed out loud (LOL) because I can't imagine the guy whose chain I was yanking would be caught dead (no movie allusion intended) in a Rambo movie. She encouraged me to keep writing, which I promise I will. Especially if I can elicit responses so quickly by being facetious.

My third reader, a friend who also happens to be my wife, just laughed about my being able to punk my I-will-never-go-to-a-movie-with-you friend.

So, to all three of you, thanks for making my day. I'll keep writing and I'll try to insert a winking emoticon when I'm not being serious.

Oh, well...

A friend of mine who reads this blog (there are two of them that I know of, plus my wife who is also my friend, so I guess that makes three) called me the other day after reading my last blog and told me he is never inviting me to a movie. He doesn't go to movies with guys who need Kleenex©. The irony, of course, is that he is one of the people I referred to as "someone on the other end to grab hold of". I guess I was wrong. He just dropped me. Just like that. Because I cry, sometimes. Oh, well...

Tears

(Warning: There are plot spoilers for three films in this blog. If you haven't seen, and don't want to know about some details of, "Young at Heart", "Cranford" or "Lars and the Real Girl", then skip this blog.)

“Tears. You never know what may cause them. The sight of the Atlantic Ocean can do it, or a piece of music, or a face you’ve never seen before. A pair of somebody’s old shoes can do it. Almost any movie made before the great sadness that came over the world after the Second World War, a horse cantering across a meadow, the high school basketball team running out onto the gym floor at the start of a game. You can never be sure. But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where you should go next.” — Frederick Buechner

Recently Sharon and I found ourselves crying, almost uncontrollably, at movies that are certainly poignant, but in most other seasons would not have touched us the way they did. The first was an independent film entitled, "Young at Heart". (BTW, friends in SLO, we have finally found the "Palm" in Orange County. It doesn't have the same ethos, but it shows the same films.) "Young at Heart" is about a group of seniors who sing together. They started with Broadway tunes and have shifted to rock and roll in their more than 20 years together as a group. The film lets you into their personal lives where you see that while they have nothing much to offer each other, by our culture's standards, they forge a wonderful friendship and community. In the course of the documentary, several of them die, leaving us weeping for the loss of the group.

The second was a five hour Masterpiece Theater entitled "Cranford," based on several books by Elizabeth Gaskell. The small village of Cranford is changing because of the cultural and transportational changes of the late 1800's. The story is inhabited by the usual assortment of colorful characters that reside in every town, but especially in small towns. They all have a role in the community and they all make sacrifices to maintain the community despite the cost to themselves. When several of the key characters die, we again sobbed openly.

The third was a movie entitled, "Lars and the Real Girl" (which we rented but will purchase before the week is out). Lars is a person who carries such deep hurt that he cannot cope with life as it is and therefore resorts to life with a life-size, anatomically correct female doll (I know the premise sounds strange, but in all the places it could have gone wrong, it didn't.) The power in the story is the way in which the family, and the larger community, lives with Lars in an understanding (rather than condescending) way and are able, by their love, to bring healing to a wounded soul. When the doll "dies" near the end of the film we handed each other the kleenex box. (That sounds so unbelievable, but call me after you've seen it.)

Being familiar with Buechner's quote, Sharon and I asked each other, "Where are the tears coming from?" For those of you who know us, the answer is not far from the surface. We value community and we value people. We know the great joy and utter frustration of living with people who are so dear to us because of our shared life over so many years. During the past two years (almost) we have both been putting our heads down and powering through the pain of our transition away from Santa Margarita, both the place and the people. We are, it seems, finally able to allow ourselves to feel the enormity of the loss. This freedom to feel the depth of our loss comes, we believe, in great part from the people and community we are establishing here in Orange County. In order to more completely let go of our past (without letting go of our people), we had to have someone on the other end to grab hold of. That takes time. It isn't that people here were not ready to catch us. It just means that being enfolded into a new community is not an easy process and will not be rushed.

My guess is that we are still not through transitioning. But we are further along and we have our friends, old and new, to thank for walking through this season with us.

Loving This Season of Parenting

As I stood in the kitchen this past weekend talking to my son and my son-in-law, I had one of those surreal moments. "I'm talking to two friends", I thought to myself, "who happen to also be related to me." As we were hoping to have children and then had them and then were raising them, Sharon and I would talk about our goal for them. Those goals never included the type of degree, if any, they would receive from college or the career they would choose. It was always about them loving God and loving others, including Sharon and I. We wanted to always be parents, never buddies, but we did want to have our children be the type of people with whom we could be friends. By God's grace, and with some intentional relationship building, we seem to have arrived there. We will always have the role as parent, and that is as it should be. But we have the added layer of having grown children with whom we like to hang out and, as an added bonus, who like to hang out with us. We aren't pals or peers, but we are friends. And that's a good thing.

Everything Old is New Again

The church where Sharon and I attend has recently had to make the difficult decision to cut back on the hours for some of the paid ministry staff. It is hard for those who have most benefited from the ministry of these staff people to not feel as though they are being discounted as a significant part of the Body of Christ.

What these people are about to learn, if they are willing, is that disciple-making is not really the work of paid staff. It is the work of the Body of Christ. Our 21st century, North American idea that we need to hire experts to do the work of ministry for us is a quite recent and, from a global perspective, quite small geographic and demographic phenomenon. In other words, for most believers in most places at most times in history, and today, the biblical model still holds. The leadership of churches, paid and unpaid, are there to equip the saints to do the work of ministry until we all come to maturity. (Ephesians 4)

Certainly the apostle Paul, himself, said that a laborer is worthy of his hire and that he and other leaders in the early church could and should be remunerated for their work. (1 Corinthians 9) But he also freely gave up that right and he encouraged others to do so and he was clear that the most impacting, long-term ministry would be done by what we have come to call the "lay" people in a church. When the early church leaders established churches, they didn't hire professionals. They discipled people who in turn could disciple others. When we get too far from this concept we run into problems.

Let me state my understanding of biblical teaching. Paid staff (leadership) is there to help equip the Body to do what it should be doing. Women's ministry leaders are there, primarily, to train women to minister to other women, not to minister to women in the place of other women. Youth pastors are there, primarily, to train people to work with youth, not to work with youth on behalf of (and, sadly, sometimes instead of) parents. The examples can be multiplied in the areas of worship, outreach, recovery, etc.

I freely acknowledge that much of the response to the loss of hours for the staff (and the loss of one staff person who simply cannot work part time for the church at this season in his life) is because of the connection with these staff members who have had a significant impact on the lives of people within my church. The staff is loved and appreciated. But what I hope further reflection will do for those who are hurting and who feel as though the church is "going backward" is help them to see that this new season in the life of this church really is about going backward. Back to the biblical model of ministry that is primarily done by the Body of Christ for the Body of Christ and the World.

Teach Me to Count My Days

Watching a magnificent series on Masterpiece Theater entitled "Cranford," I am struck by the awareness of death, because of the nearness of death, among these English villagers in the mid-1800's. Pneumonia or fevers from unknown causes bring death to young and old alike. In each case there is, what I consider to be, an appropriate mourning for the loss of someone dearly loved while still recognizing that death comes to all of us sooner or later.

While watching this series, and after recently officiating at a memorial service for a friend's father, I appreciate again the apostle Paul's comments to the Christians living in Thessalonica. "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." Paul does not say Christians could not grieve or should not grieve or would not grieve. Rather, he tells them their grief will be different from those who have no hope. SInce we are assured that those who are part of God's family through Jesus Christ will never be separated from God, we know that truly they are "in a better place."

The second impact is the recognition, again, that my days are few. Whatever I want to do in the way of building or repairing relationships cannot be put off indefinitely. This also means that I must choose carefully those relationships into which I will significantly invest since it is humanly impossible to have deep relationships with everyone I know. In Cranford, it is clear that while the villagers are all a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses, they understand that they are connected and that some relationships will take the majority of time and energy. Much of the bitter-sweet ethos of the series is the way in which misunderstandings and life choices can impact relationships for decades.

Since time is short and relationships are central, it is important for me to periodically evaluate how I am spending my time and with whom I am building relationships. Only three things last forever: God, God's Word and the souls of people. That's where most of my time should be invested.

Great Joy and Deep Satisfaction

Recently Sharon and I took a road trip to Tucson. All those hours of uninterrupted conversation were wonderful. As I look back at that trip, I am grateful to God for the gift of my wife. Not everyone has a wife who is also their best friend. A recent cartoon showed two characters in a bar. One turns to the other and asks, "So Fred, how's married life changed you?" His friend replied, "Well, I'm not my own worst enemy anymore."

Cynical, yes. But anyone who's been married for more than a couple weeks knows it is hard work and often heart breaking. What many couples never get to is that season of great joy and deep satisfaction that comes from living all those years together and working through the rough times.

During the worst season in our marriage, we both decided it had to be easier to work through all our "stuff" than to start over and live with the impact a divorce would have on us, our children and our friends.

So we made the decision to begin the hard work of allowing God to make changes in each of us. That decision, and the literally hundreds of subsequent and related decisions, usually involved what the apostle Paul described in his letter to the Christians at Philippi: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." It was difficult. It was painful. It took longer than we hoped it would. But that decision, and the hundreds of subsequent decisions, is what brought us to this season of great joy and deep satisfaction.

Joy in the Journey

I feel like I need to update my friends, especially my friends on the Central Coast, on my current emotional and vocational health. As the beggar in "Holy Grail" says, "I'm feeling better...."

Recently, through a phone call from a 30-something who attends the same church I do, I was reminded that God continues to use me, even when I'm not in my "sweet spot". (By the way, can anyone point me to the Bible verse that says we get to work in our sweet spot. I can find the ones on faithfulness, responsibility and dependence, but I haven't located the one that promises we will always get to do the things we love in the way we want to.) In the call, he mentioned how God had used my work with the current elder board and my work with he and his peers as a master stroke in moving the church in the direction they need to go. My work with the elders created a group that the young guys would be willing to be part of and my work with the young guys helped the elders see that these were guys worth having on the board.

The funny part is that I didn't put the two ideas together. I saw the need to help the elders do a better job of "elding" and I saw the need to come alongside the young men, to encourage them to take on responsibilities within the church. Now that I've been helped to look back on what has happened, I see the wisdom of "working both sides", but at the time I just saw two needs I could help meet. Part of me wishes I had been smart enough to have thought this through and worked this plan. The other part of me is very grateful that I didn't, because then I can, with total honesty say, "This was a God-thing."

So, for my friends, I'm doing well... in spite of myself. Thanks for praying.

Blessed Dialogue

As I have had the privilege of preaching throughout the District, I have come to realize that it is not "preaching" I miss so much as it is the dialogue that takes place when the preacher and the congregation have experienced life together between Sundays. Don't get me wrong, I still love to teach in these churches. I love to open God's Word, praying that those who listen and the one who teaches will be blessed as they come to realize more of who God is and what He has done. But I miss looking into the faces of people I know and love and realizing that God has brought us to this place to hear what He has to say. My understanding of God's providence tells me that this is happening even when I don't know the people in a local church. It is the same thing that happens when I find myself in a conversation with people I don't know or don't know well. We communicate and we learn. But what is missing is the common vocabulary that develops among friends. The way we can talk short hand about life and God because we have shared life together. The "inside jokes," as it were, that grow out of common experiences. As I settle into a new church, this will come. But for now, I connect with that which is common to all, and long for the specific connections that bind us together in this great, collective relationship with God.

Now If I Could Just Figure Out How We Did It...

I have three amazing adult children. My oldest is the Director of Personnel at a school for children of missionaries (Third Culture Kids). My middle is involved with her local church as an AWANA staff member and children's choir director. My youngest has just accepted a position as Jr High Pastor at his church.

The fact that my three grew up in a pastor's home, and yet they are each deeply, personally involved in ministry (two of them vocationally) is astounding and incredibly satisfying. I know there are miles to go before they sleep, but the fact that at ages 29, 25 and 23 they are following Jesus and have committed significant portions of their time, money and energy in doing so, is a blessing almost beyond words.

Don't get me wrong. Their involvement doesn't automatically mean they are more "spiritual" than their peers. But it does mean that they get it. Following Jesus is not something you do simply on Sunday. Or when it's convenient. It is a life-long series of choices to intentionally invest in a relationship with God and with people.

The other thing that brings a smile to my face and a deep joy is knowing that however well or poorly I have pastored over the years, at least it wasn't so bad that my kids decided they would never want to be part of ministry. They haven't run in the other direction. They have run toward Jesus. That's not something I can put on a resume, but it is something that will bring a "well done" from God. Now if I could just figure out how we did it. I guess like most things that honor God, it is part of the mystery of God's work in me and my response to Him. I'm just glad I get to be part of it.

Living with Dis-ease

My friends will tell you that the past year, with its many transitions, has been difficult for me. Just about the time I think we're done transitioning, we move into another permutation of life. Sharon and I have had to decide how we were going to respond to the many changes. We could sit around and complain to whomever would listen, or we could embrace the changes and look for the grace of God and the lessons from God in the changes. While we have certainly done the former to some extent, I am pleased to say we have mostly done the latter. We have seen God do things in us and through us that would not have been part of our life if we had stayed where we were and failed to follow God into this new season.

Some of my friends have bemoaned my current situation where I am not preaching weekly. I share their dismay that God would ask me to enter this place of ministry where one of my primary gifts is not being exercised in its usual context. Yet in this place, God is doing things in me as I trust Him. Especially as I trust Him to know what He's doing with me. (In this case its mostly, I think, about reminding me that He is not overly impressed with my abilities, He's more impressed with my willingness to trust Him. He can find many who can preach. Fewer who are willing to trust Him.) He's giving me the privilege of serving Him in areas that stretch my abilities and my comfort zone. The outcome of this is that any good that results from what I do more clearly comes from God's strength and grace than my abilities and spiritual gifts. In other words, God gets more glory because I can't say, "Aw, shucks, it tweren't nothin'" because it really is something. Something that God is doing with me, but also beyond me as I press into Him. In my former ministry it was sometimes easy to slip into, "Here's what's going to happen, so I just need to do this." In this season it is more often, "What is God going to do in this situation?" I do what I am able, then God does what I could never do.

It's been difficult. It's been rewarding. It's been a wild ride. It reminds me of the season after I left a church I loved in Orange County more than 20 years ago. It was one of the hardest seasons in my life. But I wouldn't trade what I learned about God and what I learned about me for all the comfort Orange County (or the world) has to offer.

Weep With Those Who Weep

There are seasons in my life when I particularly appreciate the Scripture that says God will wipe away every tear. Sometimes I think those tears are the tears of regret as we realize, standing before God, all that we could have done or said that would have honored Him. Sometimes I think they are tears of joy in seeing God as He is and knowing He loves us completely, just as He said. Sometimes I think they are lingering tears of sadness over all the losses we experienced in this life. Certainly at the heart of this passage is the promise that there will be no more tears.

This week I have found tears falling on more than one occasion. The tears certainly involved the awareness of the loss of lives and property in Southern California due to the wildfires. But the tears got much closer to home when our daughter and her husband discovered that the baby they had only recently discovered was growing in the womb, had stopped growing. Our grown daughter and her husband, looking forward to the joy and challenge of parenting, were now deeply feeling the grief and loss.

I don't have all the answers when these events occur, but I know that part of the answer is that we live in a world that is still groaning to be re-made because of sin. I know part of the answer is that even from the start, mankind is limited. Fragile. I know part of the answer is that even in this God can be honored in spite of our unanswered questions. I also know part of the answer is found in Paul's second letter to the Christians at Corinth. He says,

3 All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! 4 He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. 5 We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too.

Already my daughter and her husband have found others who have experienced this deep loss. As my wife put it, they have joined a group that no one wants to be part of. But in that group they are finding comfort, encouragement, mutual support and people who know what they are going through. In that group, God is there alongside them. After all, He also knows what it is like to lose a child.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Beginning Saturday I will only work with the church where I've been privileged to be interim as a behind the scenes coach. (There is a pastor being considered for full-time, long-term position.) This will take about 10 hours a week instead of the current 20 as interim. While I've appreciated the role I've played in this local church, I also look forward to being more focused on my work with the District. My mind races to all the ways I can be of help to pastors and churches within our geographic area. Churches are full of people and people are full of surprises. There will seldom be a dull minute.

Next week I'll join the other Directors as we look ahead to the next year and see if we can discern both our individual role and the specific areas where we need to be involved, and also our collective direction and what it will take to help the pastors and churches we serve to "glorify God by multiplying healthy churches among all people."

If you're a person who prays, join me in praying that our Directors keep the big picture in mind as we move into 2008 and not get bogged down in the administrivia. Each of these Directors wants most of all for God to be honored and for people to come to Jesus.

Remembering How Middle-Class I Am

I found myself without a car this past week, so I rode the bus to work. Two things impressed me. One was how different I was from most of those riding the bus. My clothes, my skin tone, my accent. The second was how limited I was in what I could do. Most days I run errands after work. Go grocery shopping, pick up dinner, buy an iced coffee drink. I couldn't do any of those things because I didn't have the change necessary to get back on the bus if I were to stop along the way.

All this reminded me of how much I take for granted the life-style to which I've grown accustomed. What's it like to have to plan your day around the bus schedule? How do you get your groceries home if you don't have a trunk in which to put them? Expectations are funny things. Since I expect to get in my own car and drive myself to exactly where I want to go, I don't think about what it would take to do it some other way.

All this to say, I found myself praying for those who lack the resources to live life the way they'd like to. I'm praying for those whose choices are far more limited than mine. And I'm praying that I will never take for granted the resources I have, but will live with open hands toward those with less.

Preach, Pray or Die

The Bible college I attended often emphasized the need to be ready to "preach, pray or die" at a moment's notice. That came home this week when I was asked last Wednesday to preach at a church in the Bay area this Sunday. I began to pray that I would choose a passage that will speak to this congregation at this season in their corporate and individual lives. (I think God has answered this prayer.) I prayed that I would not be overly concerned about preaching in a new setting among people with whom I have no prior relationship. (I keep drifting into concern, so I keep praying.) I prayed that God would once again use the foolishness of preaching to draw some to Himself. (I'll know God's answer to this sometime after I'm there.) I continue to pray that God will quiet my heart as I marinate in the passage I've chosen to preach. (I have seasons of quiet followed by moments of panic.)

By noon on Sunday, I will have preached and prayed. Hopefully I won't have "died" as a preacher. For those who know me, I ask you to join me in prayer. Ask God to use His word to transform lives.

Death is Present With Us

Death is present with us every day of our lives, it behooves us to take note of its nearness, not as a threat, but as our common experience on the way to grace. —Abbot Radulfus in The Leper of St. Giles by Ellis Peters

In addition to the recent, unexpected bridge collapse in Minneapolis, in my circle of friends there are have been, what seems to be, an increased incidence of death and near-death experiences of family and friends. I received a phone call last evening from a friend in Santa Margarita whose dad went in for a routine procedure and is now in critical condition. A friend in Huntington Beach was on vacation with his parents when his father suffered a serious heart incident.

All of these situations remind us that life is, in fact, what Isaiah describes in the Hebrew scriptures,

“Shout that people are like the grass.
Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers in a field.
The grass withers and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the Lord.
And so it is with people."

As the Abbot in the above-mentioned novel points out, this is not a threat. It is a fact of life that God intends to use to help us to live fully in this life and to prepare fully for the next. Maybe it’s middle-age, and the limitations that come with it, but I find myself less enamored with what I can do and more receptive to what God can do. Death has a way of putting my earthly life in context.

Meandering

I am currently reading A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God, Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Larry Osborne. In the chapter entitled, "The Case for Meandering," Larry writes, "Have you ever noticed that most of our programs and models for spiritual development follow a strict linear pattern?...Yet, if we stop and look back at our own spiritual journey, few of us will find anything close to a neatly laid out linear path. For most of us, the road to spiritual growth and maturity is more like a meandering path punctuated by occasional stretches of unexpected twists and turns...In reality, most spiritual growth happens on a haphazard need-to-grow or need-to-know basis. As life happens, we're suddenly confronted with the need for personal growth or more biblical information in an area of life that up to now hasn't seemed all that important."

I certainly echo Larry's observation. While it has been good to be in Bible studies that have given me some foundation of understanding who God is and what He has done and what He expects of His children, most of my spiritual growth has come during those need-to-grow and need-to-know times when what I thought was true about myself or God was challenged by the messy-ness of life. It was in those seasons I was able to move from a strictly cognitive understanding of God's truth to an experiential understanding of God's truth.

Those who know me have heard me tell of those class notes from Multnomah School of the Bible (the finest Bible college in the world) at the top of which I had scrawled, "Damned through Multnomah School of the Bible." Those were the days when what I was "learning" was simply information. I had no way to really tell if or when I might need to know that information. But in the ensuing years, as I've walked with God, it has been half-remembered class notes and, much more often, brothers and sisters in Christ, who have pointed me to the truth I needed to know and live during those seasons of having what I thought I knew challenged by the daily-ness of life.

If you've been a Christian longer than about a week you already know that there is no FastTrak® pass or Express Lane to get you to maturity. It is a "long obedience in the same direction."

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

This is a copy of what I've written to the church where I've been privileged to serve the past 10 months. It reflects my ambivalence at having to make yet another transition, but it also, I hope, reveals my heart for this group of believers in Jesus.

"August 31 will be my last day on the payroll of EFCHB. The EFCAWest district has asked me to come on full-time with them as Director of Administration and Credentialing. As my time with you is winding down I want to take a moment to thank you, as a Body, for enfolding Sharon and I. You may have noticed recently that when I use the pronoun "we" these days, it refers to EFCHB. That demonstrates, in a small way, that Sharon and I have made a significant transition. Most of you know that after 16 years with a wonderful group of people on the Central Coast of California, the move to Orange County has been quite traumatic. You have helped us be less home sick and we appreciate that.

Looking back on our 10 months together, I am quick to confess that I have not always done things the way they should have been done. I have moved too quickly on some changes, not quickly enough on others. I have pushed too hard in some areas and not hard enough in others. It’s a lot like parenting, you see, in that you never get it quite right and you don’t know how you’re doing until you see how your children are turning out.

Recently I likened my early months at EFCHB to a two-year-old who plants beans in his mom’s garden and then digs them up each day to see if their growing. I’ve been impatient at times, knowing that my time with you was going to be short. When you look back at my time with you I hope you will do what I want my own children to do: 'Remember the good things, forgive the bad things and know that I love you.' "

Position is Everything

Last Sunday, during worship, I did what the song we were singing suggested. I bowed down before God. It felt a little strange. And the fact that I am in the front row caused me a moment's pause wondering if people would be concerned as to whether I was feeling o.k. In addition, I didn't want to draw attention to myself, I wanted to honor the Lord in one of the ways He has said is appropriate. So I knelt there on the floor singing of my submission to God while assuming a posture of submission.

Those who know me know that I am not much of a mystic in my theology or practice. But I must tell you that since last Sunday I have been particularly sensitive to who God is and what He has done for me. As I write this I am at the Leadership Conference for my denomination. In each worship service I have found myself in tears as I have been reminded of God's great love for me who has nothing to offer except everything I am and everything I have. That sounds like a lot unless you understand what He paid for you.

I don't understand all that God is stirring in me. I've tried to pass it off as sleep deprivation (the brother-in-Christ with whom I am sharing a room snores enough to rattle the windows). But there is something more. I am humbled to know that God loved me enough to die in my place. I am humbled to know that God has used me to further His kingdom. I am humbled to know that God has given me the wife I need and whom I love. But there is something more. My position in worship reinforces my position in Him. Having assumed the position, I am aware of my total dependence on God for my salvation and the life that proceeds from that. Why does bowing doing this? I don't have all the answers, but I suspect it has something to do acknowledging physically what is true of us spiritually. Let me suggest one more thing as I close. We're going to be bowing a lot in heaven, according to the Bible, so we might as well get some practice in now.

Ripples on the Water

Joanne Shetler, veteran Wycliffe missionary, often uses the analogy of ripples on the water to describe what happens when we touch the lives of others for Jesus.  Sharon and I saw this again last evening as we sat with a young woman who grew up in our church on the Central Coast of California.  She is currently working in Wyoming with the Navigators, a ministry that includes outreach to college campuses.  She graduated from Cal State Long Beach in 2006 and in the Fall of that year began a two year ministry working on a college campus, investing in the lives of students to help them know Jesus and then know him better.  This girl was about a second grader when we arrive in Margarita.  She was a good friend to our daughter and she was on the leadership of our High School class at the church.  Many people invested in her life.  Now she's returning the favor, multiplying the outreach.  Going places we could never go.  God touched us.  We touched others.  They touch others.  It's great to be part of what God is doing worldwide.

They'll Love You For It

Last week I wrote about the importance of speaking the truth. In passing I mentioned a situation in which I was talking with an elder. Neither he nor I would enjoy the dialogue, but it was important to talk about the issues. His response, his willingness to listen and, where necessary, change, was a model to me of what is spoken of in Proverbs 9. In The Message, Eugene Peterson translates it this way:

7 If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you'll get slapped in the face; confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins. 8 So don't waste your time on a scoffer; all you'll get for your pains is abuse. But if you correct those who care about life, that's different—they'll love you for it! 9 Save your breath for the wise—they'll be wiser for it; tell good people what you know—they'll profit from it. 10 Skilled living gets its start in the Fear-of-God, insight into life from knowing a Holy God.

This elder is one who "cares about life." He didn't love what I had to say, but he loved me for saying it. He is an example of why it is important to speak the truth, in love.

The Disillusioning Truth

Over the past week I have seen once again that, as Elllis Peters' fictional monk-turned-detective, Brother Cadfael, put it, "The truth is never a wrong answer." Watching and listening to my church staff discuss, at times a bit heatedly, some issues among themselves. Working with staff members as they talk with parents about something that went on in their ministry. Talking to an elder about his role on the elder board. In each of these situations the truth was difficult to speak and, in some cases, difficult to hear. But in each case, the truth was the right answer. Only by speaking the truth could we deal with "what is" rather than what we "wish was" or hoped "would be." When you think about it, in addition to being a reflection of God's character, telling the truth also makes more sense for living disillusioned lives. In his book, Exit Interviews, William Hendricks writes, "… consider the nature of disillusionment. Before you can be dis-illusioned, you must have an illusion. By definition, an illusion is an image, a mirage, a fiction. It is something that seems real but is not… God never wants us to relate to Him on the basis of a lie… Thank God for disillusionment!"

On the Other Hand

Biblical truth is full of both/and. Last Friday I wrote about how great God is to take even my sin, intentions and choices and work them together for good. The balance to that truth is that my sin, intentions and choices have consequences. Take the story of Joseph, for instance.

While Joseph could honestly say that "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people," Moses also records that Jacob had suffered for years over the loss of Joseph because he believed Joseph was dead. Joseph suffered in prison for being falsely accused by Potiphar's wife, a situation that would never have arisen had not his brothers sold him into slavery. Moses records the guilt and family problems that were generated out of the brothers' envy of Joseph and their subsequent kidnapping of him, selling him to the Ishmaelites and lying to their father about Joseph's fate. Moses records the shame the brothers felt all the years Joseph was gone, presumed dead or lost in slavery. None of the participants in this story knew its outcome. They only knew the painful consequences of their choices. Their sin.

Paul lived with this tension. In Romans 6, after clearly saying that our salvation is secure in Christ, goes on to write, "So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not!"

Sin complicates life. God is greater than our sin.

How Great is our God?

I'm reading through the Bible again this year, but using a different format. It takes me through an Old Testament book, then a New Testament book while, at the same time, taking me through Psalms, Proverbs and Isaiah. My reading this morning was from late in Genesis where Joseph is being reunited with the brothers who sold him into slavery. In the meantime, Joseph has become second only to Pharaoh in Egypt.

When he finally reveals himself as the brother whom they had long assumed was dead, he makes the profound statement, three times, that God had sent him ahead of his brothers to make sure they would survive the wide spread famine. ("God sent me before you to preserve life." "God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth..." "..it was not you who sent me here, but God.")

God is able to use even our worst sins and worst intentions and worst decisions as part of the fabric of His plan and purpose to bring about good and His glory. That does not make those sins, intentions and decisions good. It makes our God great. His purposes will not be hindered, even with our waywardness. Don't ask me to explain the intricacies of how this all works together. I know I sin. I know God works all things together for good without being the author of my sin. That is as close as I can get to explaining the providence of God as it relates to my free will.

Our God is great who "causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 NASB)

Happy Anniversary to Me

It was one year ago last night that I was meeting with my Home Fellowship Group on the Central Coast of California. We were listening to a Hugh Hewitt CD. He talked about the importance of Christians engaging their culture. Hugh is big on blogs and suggested every pastor should have one. My group looked at me and I caved. I went home that night, set up blog and wrote a brief introduction to the process. The next day, one year ago today, I wrote my first "real" blog. After a few weeks I was discouraged by the lack of response (I thought surely millions would engage me in dialogue about the pithy, erudite comments I had written.), but then I realized this process was more for me than for those who might read it. By the very discipline of putting my thoughts, random as they are, down on the electronic page, I was able to see more clearly what I had been thinking about and what God had been doing in my life.

So, I continue to write. It's only about once a week (with that long break between October and May when the transition hit the hardest), but it helps me. If you've read something that helps you, too, that's an added blessing.

Better Together

Having been recently uprooted from long-term relationships and ministry connections, I have become even more aware of the importance of "life together." My wife and I are plotting a home group where we can know and be known by a small group of Christians who will be able to encourage and challenge us in our relationship with Jesus. We need other believers who will help keep us from lying to ourselves about how we are doing spiritually, emotionally and relationally. It is possible, even with close relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ, to hide what is going on in our lives. But it is more difficult.

When God created mankind, He said that it was not good to be alone. I know the primary application of the passage refers to a marriage relationship, but as the redemption story unfolds in Scripture it is clear that God also had in mind the community of faith, the family of God, who will walk alongside us in this journey. I believe it was Augustine who said that a person cannot have God as his Father who does not have the church as his mother. We were meant to be in relationship with God in the context of a relationship with other children of God. It is the rare and difficult situation where a Christian is an "only child." It happens in countries in which Christians are persecuted or who are geographically isolated. But this is not the norm in God's Kingdom. T.S. Elliott wrote, "What life have you if you have not life together?" As I often say, "The Christian life was meant to be personal, but it was never meant to be private."

Being 90

My mother-in-law turned 90 a few weeks ago. Last weekend we held an extravaganza in her honor. She rode in on a large motorcycle, driven by one of her sons-in-law. She had a decorated faux leather jacket and decorated tennis shoes. She is everyone's hero. But for me, what sets her apart is not so much her longevity, as impressive as that is, but her faithful walk with Christ. She's been through a lot in her 90 years, but she has held on to Jesus because she knows He is hanging on to her. She doesn't doubt that her Savior is ever present to her. She doesn't doubt His goodness, even when the circumstances seem to point to the contrary. She doesn't doubt His love for her, even when the people around her act unlovely and sometimes even unlovable.

Yes, Anina is my hero. Not for the length of her life, but for the depth of her faith.

Ways and Means

This will come as no surprise to those who know me. I'm reading a Eugene Peterson book. This is the latest in his series on Practical Theology and is entitled, The Jesus Way. I'm only part way through, but already I'm having to think once again about this life God has called us to. Here are some passages I've underlined that are causing me to look again at "church."

"A Christian congregation, the church in your neighborhood, has always been the primary location for getting this way and truth and life of Jesus believed and embodied in the places and among the people with whom we most have to do day in and day out.

A Christian congregation is a company of praying men and women who gather, usually on Sundays, for worship, who then go into the world as salt and light...God means to do something with us, and he means to do it in community. We are in on what God is doing, and we are in on it together.

The great American innovation in congregation is to turn it into a consumer enterprise...If we have a nation of consumers, obviously the quickest and most effective way to get them into our congregations is to identify what they want and offer it to them...this is the best and most effective way that has ever been devised for gathering large and prosperous congregations...There is only one thing wrong: this is not the way in which God brings us into conformity with the life of Jesus and sets us on the way of Jesus' salvation. This is not the way in which we become less and Jesus becomes more. This is not the way in which our sacrificed lives become available to others in justice and service.

Only when the Jesus way is organically joined with the Jesus truth do we get the Jesus life."

Fridays are the new Monday...Sorta

For many years, while serving the Santa Margarita Community Church, I took Mondays as a day of rest. Not a day off, as we Americans think of it (running errands, mowing lawns, doing chores, etc.) No, this was a day of disconnecting from the normal everyday experiences of life in order to connect with God and my family.

Since the move to Orange County, this has been difficult to duplicate because of the two part-time ministries. The demands and unique schedules of each are such that it has been difficult to carve out an entire day.

I still haven't found an entire day, but I've found a half day. Friday mornings. I read. I pray. I listen to music. I blog. I unplug from the usual demands of life in the twenty-first century. To some it may seem a "waste" of time. But at the beginning of the twentieth century, Charles Spurgeon, the prince of preachers, wrote:

"Rest time is not waste. It is economy to gather fresh strength. Look at the mower in the summer’s day, with so much to cut down ere the sun sets. He pauses in his labor — is he a sluggard? He looks for his stone, and begins to draw it up and down his scythe, with a rink-a-tink, rink-a-tink. Is that idle music? Is he wasting precious moments? How much might he have mowed while he has been ringing out those notes on his scythe! But he is sharpening his tool, and he will do far more when once again he gives strength to those sweeps which lay the grass prostrate in rows before him. Nor can the fisherman always be fishing; he must mend his nets. So even our vacation can be one of the duties laid upon us by the kingdom of God."

Eventually I hope to have an entire day again. But for now I'll take what I can get. It brings new meaning to "Thank God it's Friday."

Why...

Some of my friends wonder why I would leave a 16 year ministry where I have great friends and supporters to move to Orange County to work with a local church as interim pastor and with my denomination's District ministries. The primary motivation for the move was to be close to my mother-in-law who turns 90 next week. The reason for taking the two positions is found in the following statistic.

Residing between San Diego and the LA metropolitan area, there are over 20 million people, and only 15% (www.theamericanchurch.org/facts/8.htm) claim to attend a church on any given Sunday.

Both of my positions allow me to be part of the bigger thing God is doing. Missions used to be what we did outside the borders of our country. Now missions is what we do within our own zip code.

In both positions my primary responsibility is to ask "Why?" "Why do we do what we do?" "Why do we do what we do the way we do it?" "Why do we not do what we don't do?" These questions, among others, help us to keep the Kingdom priorities in view. God never changes. The way we relate to our culture changes daily.

Traveling man

When I took my new position with the denomination I serve, I was told I would be traveling about once a month. When Sharon and I discussed that dynamic, she said, "You like to travel. This will give you more opportunity." What I've discovered is that I enjoy travel under two circumstances. My wife is with me OR I only travel a couple times a year. The travel itself isn't always that fun. For instance there are times when "No Smoking" rooms in a motel seems to refer to the fact that no one has smoked in that room...for the past five minutes, or "Free Wireless Internet" means that it is wireless internet free (their router is down so there is no internet connection), or the motel you chose is a half hour away from where it should have been.

What God does once I get there is great fun and great to be part of. I've seen God work throughout California, Arizona and Texas (the states I've traveled to, so far). He uses different people in different places under different circumstances, but through us all (and in spite of us all) He is building His kingdom, enlarging His family.

There's a lesson here for me. The journey may not always be great. But what God is doing is great. What a privilege to join God as He works in individuals (including me) and as He builds His church.

Sin and the Wife Who Loves Me

After reading my last post, my wife asked me if there was anything going on in my life that had specifically prompted the topic on which I wrote. I had to think back to what I had written. It was about the struggle against sin and the power of the resurrection working in us as God's children. I was happy to report to her (and now to anyone who reads this blog) that while there was the usual self-centeredness and self-absorption going on in my thoughts and actions, there was not a recent sin that ranked high on the sin-o-meter that we use to rank the heinousness of our thoughts and actions.

That got me thinking. While I am glad that there was no "huge" indiscretion to have to confess to Sharon, there seems to be a sliding scale we all use to judge how we're doing in this thing called practical sanctification or holiness. I guess it is normal (and I think I could go to examples in Scripture to suggest it is also biblical) to rank sins according to their effect on us, those around us and our relationship with God. In Scripture, for instance, some sins seem to rise to the level of needing to be disciplined by a local church. Others are those we need to confess, commit to avoiding, and move on. John Stott has been helpful in weighing this by suggesting that private sins need to be confessed and dealt with privately (unless they become life dominating sins, even if no one else knows about it). Personal sins (against one other person or a small group of people) need to be confessed and dealt with personally. Public sins need to be confessed and dealt with publicly.

The point of today's musing is two-fold. One is that, while there may be more noticeable consequences to some sin, all sin affects me and harms my relationship with God and with those with whom I have relationship. From God's point of view, as the one who is completely holy, there is no sliding scale, no sin-o-meter, no greater or lesser breach of His standard.

The second is that my wife loves me enough to ask the tough questions. Think about it a minute. There was an answer to her question that she really didn't want to hear. But she loved me enough to risk hearing it so that if she heard it, she could point me to Christ and to accountability and to whatever steps I might need to take to repair my relationship with God, my biological family and my church family. That is a great love.

The Power of His Resurrection

There is a Russian devotional classic entitled The Way of a Pilgrim. The first line reads, “By the grace of God I am a Christian man, by my actions a great sinner…” Certainly this anonymous 19^th century Christian was echoing the words of Paul in Romans 7 where he confesses, “I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?”

Paul goes on to answer the question. “The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”

The answer, it turns out, is found in the events that took place in Jerusalem a couple millennia ago. We are only days away from focusing on the life, death, burial and bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is in Jesus that we find the ultimate answer to our moral dilemma. Paul referred to it in his letter to the Christians around Ephesus. Early in his letter Paul prays that they would know “what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.” The resurrection was proof that God had accepted, as payment in full, Christ’s sacrifice of himself in our place. In so doing, he secured forever the salvation of those who respond to God’s grace by faith.

We will all continue to struggle between the “now and not yet” of knowing that we are fully saved by Christ’s sacrifice and yet living on in these limited, sin-conditioned bodies with minds that have years of experience in choosing what we think is in our own best interest. This is one reason Paul had to tell the Philippian believers to “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” I’ve always appreciated Paul’s candor. “Not only.” Paul knows we need no command to look out for our own interests. What we need to do is not stop there. We also need to look to the interests of others. The power to do that comes from being in a responsive relationship with God the Father through the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

A bit later in Paul’s letter to the Roman Christians he writes, “In his Son, Jesus, [God] personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that. The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. And now what the law code asked for but we couldn't deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us. Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life.”

As we look forward to Resurrection Sunday, we need to be reminded that it is not just a Christian form of celebrating Spring. The bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ affirms that our sins are forgiven and because our sins are forgiven, we are given the power of the Holy Spirit to move us from what we are to what we can be. May we all know the power of His resurrection.

Messy, but worth it

I currently finished Eugene Peterson's book, Under the Unpredictable Plant, for probably the fourth time. In it I discovered a section that I hadn't underlined before. The context is how messy ministry is, but his analogy from the experience of marriage is powerful in its own right.

"Lovers quarrel, hurt and get hurt, misunderstand and are misunderstood in their painstaking work of creating a marriage: apologize and explain, listen and wait, rush forward and pull back, desire and sacrifice as love receives its slow incarnation in flesh and spirit. In any creative enterprise there are risks, mistakes, false starts, failures, frustrations, embarrassments, but out of this mess--when we stay with it long enough, enter it deeply enough--there slowly emerges love or beauty or peace."

What a deep joy for me to know, by experience, the truth of these words. Sharon and I are approaching our 33rd anniversary. Our marriage, like most, has been messy and challenging and a lot of hard work. It has also been full of amazing, deep and abiding love, "the slow incarnation in flesh and spirit." Daily we commit to staying with it long enough and entering it deeply enough to be there as love emerges. My prayer is that more and more couples, especially those who know Jesus, will also learn the joy within the mess.

Hanging with my kids

I have said on more than one occasion that I would write my book about parenting after I see how my grandchildren turn out. I am still convinced that would be wise since I won't know, for sure, how transferable my parenting was until I see the next generation. But having said that, (a tip of the hat to Bernie S) I must pause and say how pleased and amazed I am that my children grew up to be adults I like to hang out with. All three of my children (now adults) are the kind of people you want to spend time with. All three are all the kind of people you look for when searching for a friend. And probably the best thing, at this season in my life, is that they seem to like hanging with me, too.