Water to a Parched Soul

Sunday.  First full day in Chiang Mai.  We worshiped at an ex-patriot church and visited the night bazaar.  But one of the highlights for me came while riding in the back of the truck while Sharon and Kristi rode up front.  I sat in the back and noticed that almost no signs were in any language but Thai.  That, of course, makes perfect sense since I am in Thailand.  But I found myself disoriented.  Oh, I recognized service stations and 7-11's (which are on almost every corner), but the vast majority of shops were not as obvious as to their services or products.  I found myself feeling like an outsider.  I didn't have a decoder ring that would help me orient myself to where I was and what was around me.  So when I did see a sign that had English subtitles I emotionally grabbed onto it as an anchor.  I felt as though in some small way I got my bearings, if only briefly.

The other thing I noticed is how tiring it is to try to keep deciphering.  (Although jet lag may also play a part in how I felt yesterday.)  I was mentally and emotionally exhausted by the end of a full day.  When I saw English or heard English spoken by those at church, I was re-oriented and refreshed.  It was like taking a drink of water when I'm parched.

It was this feeling that gave me a renewed appreciation for the immigrants  who come to the United States with no working knowledge of the English language.  It reminded me how difficult it is to learn another language and, in this case, another alphabet.  When I have traveled to Germany, at least the script is the same and the language has Latin roots so I could discern the pharmacy and such. (Pharmacy in German is Apotheke which sounds like apothecary.)  Here there is nothing in the letters to bridge from what I do know to what I do not know.  This happens to those who choose to come to the United States.  They wrestle to make sense of what they see and what they hear.  They are exhausted by the end of each day in navigating life in a different culture, but also with few verbal cues to help them understand where they are.

It also put back into perspective the short-sighted comments of those native-born Americans who wonder aloud why the immigrant can't "just learn to speak English" and why do these immigrants not just "become like us" and why do these immigrants "huddle together" in certain areas of the city?

I understand, at least at some level, why they gather with people who speak their language and eat their food.  I understand, at least at some level, why they live in areas where the signs are in their language and the food options are familiar to them.  As I mentioned earlier, getting out of my own culture and into another's I have a renewed appreciation for those who are willing to leave their own dominant culture. Whether it's people coming to the US or missionaries leaving their own country, culture and language to plant themselves in another country, culture and language to bring the good news of Jesus to those who have not yet heard.  It's hard work, but it's worth it.

2012--A Kinder, Gentler Year

Recently I’ve been going through my desk drawers as I’ve moved my office from a “real” office space into one half of our garage.  As I sorted through the various birthday and father’s day cards from my children and my wife I tossed most of them due to space limitations after weeping openly from the words they wrote.  I always long to be the husband and father they think I am.

One of the cards I kept is from January 2012.  My birthday is January 1 (yes, the world waits through the night to celebrate my birthday in a loud and colorful fashion) and is a two-fer when it comes to looking back and looking forward.  It is my birthday and it is the beginning of a new year.  A quasi-blank calendar awaits me.  In this particular card Sharon wrote, “I pray that 2012 will be a kinder, gentler year, and we’ll find ourselves welcoming whatever joys, challenges or changes God brings us.”

Within a few weeks Sharon had been diagnosed with breast cancer and the next 18 months were highlighted by surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and infusions of antibodies.  Not exactly what Sharon envisioned as she wrote the card.  Yet, ironically, these experiences did in fact bring joy, challenge and change. 

Through all the ups and downs, physically and emotionally, there was a deep, abiding, underlying experience of joy.  Not joy in the cancer or the treatment or the potential outcome, but joy in knowing that God had not stepped off His throne while this was going on.  We experienced His presence throughout this season of life.  There was a quiet joy in reading together, walking together and just sitting quietly together.

The challenges were many.  From falling hair to rising expenses.  From fixing meals to fixing our eyes on Jesus.  From planning a year ahead to appreciating today.

The changes were dramatic.  Walking half marathons together became walking the halls of Kaiser together.  Reading labels on food and products became mandatory rather than optional.  The ability to plan ahead with a significant expectation that those plans would actually happen became experiencing the truth of James’ admonishment to live in the realm of “Lord willing.”

Sharon’s card, sincere and loving, is a reminder that what we often think our lives will look like doesn’t always match the lives that God has in mind for good and for His glory.  And through these seasons we’re learning to “welcome whatever joys, challenges or changes God brings us.”

Investing or Spending?

I have had some thoughts rolling around in my head over the past few weeks.  (I know that will surprise many of you who think I never have a thought in my head.)  These thoughts even leaked out during my sermon in Santa Margarita last weekend.  They have to do with the term we use when describing our relationship with others, especially as it relates to the ministry of disciple-making.

How often have you or I or some other Christian referred to how we are “investing” in another person?  By that we mean we are meeting with them on quite a regular basis to both teach and to learn.  It could be one-on-one or in small gatherings, but we are investing in followers of Jesus.  The question at the end of some sermons is, “Who are you investing in?”

But it struck me the other day that subtly this view of these relationships can skew the relationship because of what we expect from an investment.  What we expect is ROI.  Return on investment.  In our culture one only invests if one thinks there is a good possibility that one will receive back more than one invests.  That, in our culture, is a good investment.  It began to dawn on me that more times than I would care to admit, I was looking for an ROI even if I was not the beneficiary of the return.  In other words, as long as the person went on to be an “above average Christian” I could feel good about my investment of time and energy in their walk with Jesus.

But maybe what God actually calls us to is spending ourselves for others.  When you spend something like money or time, you only get to spend it once.  Spending may or may not bring you some return.  “I spent the day at Disneyland.”  It may or may not have given you the pleasure you had hoped for but certainly you didn’t say, “I invested a day at Disneyland.”  The experience itself was enough of a payoff for you to spend the money and time.  You didn’t need to receive back more than you spent.  “I spent the morning with my wife.”  Maybe you hope that there will be some return on the time spent, but being together for that time is enough for you to spend the time.

What if we began “spending” our time with others instead of always trying to discern if we should invest our time in others?  What if the time spent was, by itself, enough?

Now I’ve infected your head with these thoughts and you can figure it out.  Let me know what you decide. Think of it as investing in my life.

Except for the Cancer

I blurted out one of those classic ironies the last time I was with Sharon at her infusion.  (I missed last Friday, but it was the first time I had missed any of them and, Lord willing, the last.  Big thanks to Irene and Sue for helping out.)  We climbed the four flights of stairs as we normally do and Sharon had settled into the recliner.  The nurse took her blood pressure and commented on how great the numbers were.  At that moment I turned to Sharon and said, "Except for the cancer, you're in really good shape."

For those of you who have walked through seasons like this you understand.  Life takes on a surreal quality that is almost indescribable.  Your options are laugh or cry.  We've done both.

September 11 and 666

When the Kaiser scheduled my second cataract surgery for September 11 there was a moment of pause.  September 11 will never be simply another date in September. The date will always conjure images of destruction.  It is not a date that elicits positive emotions or feelings of well-being.  But I let that all go and have been looking forward to seeing as well with the second eye as I do with the first.

Since Sharon and I were at the Irvine facility today for her 5th Taxol infusion, I went downstairs to pick up the three prescriptions of eye drops that I will have to use before and after the surgery.  I was politely told that it would be a while before the prescription would be ready.  I assured the pharmacist that I had several hours to wait so I would simply drop back later to pick up the prescriptions.  She handed me the call number that would help the clerk find my prescription when I returned.  There, in very large numerals, was the number 666.  There was a moment of pause.

Isn't it amazing that dates and numbers can carry such import?  My own response illustrates the power of words and symbols.  We are kidding ourselves if we think words do not matter or that symbols are meaningless.  It has been a reminder that “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” (Proverbs 10:19-ESV) balanced by the passage from Acts, “And Judas and Silas, who were themselves prophets, encouraged and strengthened the brothers with many words.” (Acts 15:32-ESV).  In each passage there are many words, but in the first it results in much sin while in the second it results in much encouragement.  We should never take lightly the power of our words.

 

Getting What We Deserve

Confession is good for the soul, so this is the part where I confess I've been frustrated over the past few years with all the commercials, conversations and even sermons that have mentioned how much we deserve something good.  Even commercials on radio stations run by Christians playing music created by Christians to be heard by Christians stress how much we deserve their product.  (Christian is a noun, not an adjective but that's a blog for another time.)


Well my slow burn turned into a small, short blaze last Sunday.  It was the statement by John Geddert that became the straw that broke my camel's back.  John Geddert is Jordyn Wieber's gymnastics coach.  In case you've been boycotting the Olympics instead of Amazon or Chick-fil-A, Jordyn Wieber is the world all-around gymnastics champion.  But in the Olympics Jordyn failed to make the individual all-around because she scored less than two of her USA teammates and the rules say only two competitors from each country can qualify for the individual all-around.


In the emotional aftermath of the day, which may excuse his poor choice of words, Coach Geddert said, "She has trained her entire life for this day and to have it turn out anything less than she deserves is going to be devastating."


Now as I reveal my response to this statement remember this has been building for a few years and this is nothing personal against Jordyn Wieber who obviously is an outstanding gymnast and probably a very nice person.  But seriously, she got something less than she deserved?  I thought gymnasts were scored on the basis of their current performance not on the basis of life-long training.  I guess we can cancel future Olympics and simply award the medals to those who train their entire lives because they are the ones who deserve it.


Those athletes who devote themselves to life-long training aren't the only ones who are deserving, according to commercials and popular folklore..  We all deserve whatever it is we want.  You deserve a break today.  You deserve to have your crushing student loan forgiven even though you signed the agreement to pay it back.  You deserve to declare bankruptcy even if you're in your current situation because of really bad choices.  On the aforementioned radio station run by Christians the bankruptcy commercial even mentions that you can keep your boat, RV and SUV.  To ease the pain I guess.  You can't make this stuff up.)


I could go on but you stopped reading in the first paragraph so I'll just say this.  I am so glad that God has NOT given me what I deserve, but instead He graciously, mercifully gave me life with Him.  When the angels rebelled God did nothing to redeem them.  He could have rightfully done the same with me.  He didn't.  And for that I am, literally, eternally grateful.


One last comment.  Now that I've mentioned the word "deserve" it will amaze you how often you are going to hear the word "deserve" over the next few weeks.  That's your reticular activator at work.  It's the part of your brain that notices some things and ignores others so you don't go crazy with all the information coming at you.  Now that I've highlighted the word "deserve" you will notice it everywhere, kind of like when you get a new car and notice how many others own the same one.  I was going to apologize for activating your reticular activator, but hey, you deserve it.

Pacing in Front of the Microwave

Over the years I have often quipped that as Americans we pace in front of the microwave.  Anything worth doing is worth doing quickly.  Technology is outdated six months after its release. (The by-now-very-old May 2011 commercial by Best Buy is a classic statement of this phenomenon.)

Why do I bring this up?  Sharon and I have had enough of this season.  We want off the roller coaster.  We’ve been at this since April, after all, and are ready to move on.  Especially during the days following each infusion.  Life slows and our circle becomes very small.  And it’s not like when you go on vacation to some remote mountain cabin of your choosing, taking with you a few good books to read between hikes among the flora and fauna.  No, it’s like living with the flu every three weeks, only this flu also takes your hair along with your energy and gives you bone pain to boot.  And like the healthy person in the couple where one has the flu, I get the job of making the lite dinners and snacks, keeping the water glasses filled (Sharon mentioned last night that she’s sick of water.  That tells you something about her beverage options.), patting her hand, kissing her forehead and staying close by.  It’s a role I take seriously and wouldn’t trade with anyone, but if Sharon were feeling better there are certainly things we’d rather be doing.

With the upcoming round of Taxel followed by Herceptin and radiation we’re looking at about a year’s worth of treatment.  For 21^st century North Americans, that’s a long time.  Where’s the magic bullet?  Isn’t there something we can take that won’t have side effects?  Why does it have to take so long, cost so much (this is where a good credit history helps) and have so many implications for Sharon?  We’ve been at this 4 months already.  Isn’t that long enough?

When we get to this place in our heads, we have to take a deep breath and consider the alternatives.  There are people throughout the world who would be more than willing to commit a year to becoming cancer-free. There are people throughout the world with other diseases and syndromes who will have a lifetime of treatment (or not).  Knowing this does not take away our sense of frustration or make those recovery days easier.  But it does help bring us more quickly back to our gratitude that there is something that can be done that will keep Sharon here and, Lord willing, will restore her to health.  It reminds us that we are blessed, not because we deserve it but because we live in an age where there are those who have used their God-given (whether they acknowledge it or not) curiosity about the complexities of the human body to discover ways to combat cancer.  And it reminds us that God is with us each step of the way.  As Eugene Peterson translates Hebrews 13:5, “God assured us, ‘I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you.’”  Or as Paul reminds us in his letter to the church at Rome, “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (Romans 8:35-NLT)  Paul’s answer to this rhetorical question, by the way, is “No.”

So when you pray for us in this season, remember to pray for healing, but also for continued glimpses of the bigger picture.  We are “all human all the time” and therefore subject to discouragement, sadness, depression and impatience.  Remember to pray about those side effects, too.

Well, I have to run.  I have something in the microwave. 

Precisely

Sharon and I were talking the other day about how to describe this season precisely.  For those of you who know us, we both work at communicating precisely.  We cringe when someone refers to a “mute” point rather than a “moot” point.  Chester Drawers was an omelet parlor in Costa Mesa; a chest of drawers is an item of furniture for storing your clothes. A person who “could care less” still has a ways to go before total apathy sets in while a person who “couldn’t care less” is at the lowest point on the care-o-meter.  But I digress.

Before her surgery, I would tell people my wife has cancer.  Has. Present tense.  The surgeon is confident he removed all of the cancer including the two affected (not effected) lymph nodes.  So do we now need to say Sharon had cancer?  Had.  Past tense.  If so, why is she going through chemotherapy?  You can’t kill off cancer cells that don’t exist, can you?  Can we say Sharon is battling cancer?  But if the cancer is gone, why are we still fighting?

What this quandary reminds us is that for all its (not it’s) advances, medicine is still not an exact science.  There are no guaranteed cures.  There are many unanswered questions. We recently watched all four seasons of the BBC series, Bramwell. (If you decide to watch it, stop at the end of Season 3.  Under no circumstances should you go on to Season 4.) Eleanor Bramwell is one of the very few female doctors at the end of the 19^th century (that’s the 1800’s not the 1900’s.).  The first 3 seasons are vivid, graphic reminders of how far medicine has come in the last 100 years.  I would not want Sharon to have breast cancer in 1898.  I would not want to get a simple infection in 1898.  But for all the advances since then, doctors are still making educated guesses today because, as David points out in Psalm 139, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Our bodies are vastly complex and the variables are beyond calculation.

So I return to my question.  How should we refer to Sharon’s current status?  Maybe something along the lines of “Sharon had cancer and we hope that it has been totally removed by surgery but just in case it hasn’t we are currently taking steps that we hope will make its return less likely.”  The sentence itself shows how complex this season is.  Precisely.

Lived Life

"If the unexamined life is not worth living, 

the unlived life is hardly worth examining."

(From an article entitled "About Face--Why I'm Not On Facebook" by Steve Baarendse, Associate Professor of English and Humanities at Columbia International University in the May/June Touchstone magazine, . You can download a PDF of the article here by permission of Touchstone Magazine.)

Many of you know my wife Sharon is currently going through a round of chemo due to her battle with breast cancer.  Many have graciously commented on Sharon's journal entries on CaringBridge and what an encouragement those entries are as they walk on their own journey.  I think at the root of this response is that these people know it comes from a "lived life."

My point is that Sharon is one of those people who has not been sitting on the sidelines of life and waiting for things to happen. She is not one who tries to live life vicariously through her kids, her husband or her Facebook page. Sharon is one of those people, to quote Thoreau, who wants to "live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."  (Although why this imagery is appealing I'll never know.)

The reason the sharing of her experiences and insights touches people, I believe, is because there is integrity.  (The word integrity comes from the root word integer, which refers to a "complete entity.")  It doesn't mean she's perfect.  What it means is what you see is what you get.  Her life is integrated.  She seldom compartmentalizes so she has a spiritual life disconnected from an emotional life disconnected from a physical life.

So Sharon is not one of those whose unexamined life is not worth living.  Nor is she one of those whose unlived life is hardly worth examining.  No, Sharon is one of those rare individuals whose lived life is worth examining.  Thank God she's willing to allow us to do that in her journal entries.  And she's been kind enough to allow me that privilege for almost 40 years.

My Cup of Tea: Communication vs. Communion

My Cup of Tea: Communication vs. Communion: There is no substitute for face-to-face. Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for Facebook, Skype, and other technology that allows me to re...

Over the past two days I've received 2 videos on small groups (Life Groups, Growth Groups, Home Fellowship Groups, the names change but the concept of gathering with other believers to interact in the context of faith is the same).  Below is the video that best captures what we won't admit to ourselves.  We don't want to be vulnerable to others.  We want to keep our lives secure behind the walls we've erected.  Our local Life Group is beginning a study of "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" this week. I think I'll show this video as a way of illustrating those undercurrents in all of us.  We don't want to unpack things we've packed away tightly for very good reasons.  Wouldn't it be super if we could have small groups like this?

My Cup of Tea: The Every

A recent post by my daughter, Kristi, who continues to bless me with her love for Jesus.

My Cup of Tea: The Every: I have been thinking about the “Every” recently. The vision statement of Youth for Christ is, “As part of the body of Christ, to see that...

I Know Where I'm Going...

I've just updated an earlier book I wrote (2004), I Know Where I'm Going, Just Not Exactly How to Get There and it's been published in the Nook and Kindle format. The Nook is available in the NookBooks section of the Barnes and Noble website. The Kindle is available in the KindleBooks section of Amazon. The Nook and Kindle apps are free for your smart phone, PC or Mac.

The book is a look at the 2003 road trip that Sharon and I took that covered 7 weeks, 11,000 miles, 33 states, and 3 countries.  Lessons learned and lives changed.

 The book is only $2.99, but remember you get what you pay for.

Sleeping on the Library Floor

In the summer of 2003 Sharon and I were privileged to piece together a seven-week, 11,000 mile, three country, thirty-three state road trip.  Out of that grew a short book entitled, "I Know Where I'm Going, Just Not Exactly How to Get There."  The following is one of the chapters.

As we arrived in a small mid-western town, we drove through the streets trying to locate the church where we were to stay. Up until now, we had slept in the homes of various friends, strangers, hotels, motels, bed & breakfasts, a KOA Kamper Kabin and, in a few days, we would sleep in our tent. This was the first time we were going to sleep in a church.

We located the church and gave a call to the church secretary to tell her we had arrived. We watched a glorious sunset and looked forward to the quiet of the church and a night on our inflatable mattress. Within 15 minutes the secretary arrived and showed us around the building. It was very nice. There were clean restrooms to use. In the library it was easy to move the chairs to clear a space for our air mattress. We were given access to the church office so we could make phone calls to our children to give them a trip update. We could even plug the laptop into the phone jack to send and receive e-mail. I was feeling fine and looking forward to a quiet evening away from conversations and the sound of the highway. I was content. Until…

Just as the secretary was about to leave, she said, “Usually when we have people passing through, we can easily find a family who will host them for the night, but many people are out of town.” Now as you read that sentence, you may find no reason to raise an eyebrow. We had traveled thousands of miles and, although it was tiring, we had enjoyed the company of friends and strangers. Just a moment before I was perfectly content with my accommodations, but in that one sentence, the secretary had inadvertently and unintentionally raised my expectations. Now instead of looking forward to the quiet and the technological hook-ups, I was focusing on the fact that not a single person in the church had been willing or able to house us for the night. What made matters worse for me is that this woman was obviously not out of town, but wasn’t hosting us. “Why aren’t we staying at your house?” I wanted to ask. Fortunately, over the years I really have grown up a lot (contrary to the opinion of some) and I kept my question to myself.

What this episode pointed out was my own twisted heart. Where moments before I was thankful and rejoicing that we would not have to sleep outside (it was beginning to rain), now I was discontent that I wasn’t staying in someone’s home. Nothing had changed in my circumstances except my expectation. I went from contentment to discontentment in the space of one sentence. How often this same shift has occurred in my life. Most often it is not as dramatic or noticeable, but it happens none the less. I am grateful to God for His gracious gifts and His merciful hand, and then I wonder where He has gone and why He left no forwarding address.

The apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian Christians, “Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” (Philippians 4:11-13, MsgB)

I can’t say that I have learned (past tense) to be quite content whatever my circumstances. But I am learning (present tense) to be quite content. Paul had to go through the “I am learning” stage in order to reach the “I have learned” stage. It is the only way we grow in our understanding and application of God’s truth. It is that tension of the now and the not yet. Contentment is not something that appears in our life full grown. It is something that, like Paul, we learn through the process of circumstance after circumstance where our contentment is challenged.

What was encouraging to me is that my discontent following the secretary’s statement lasted only the briefest of moments. And I’m content with that.

Vulgar and Tasteless Externals

In his thought-provoking and status-quo disturbing book, Earthen Vessels, Matthew Lee Anderson quotes G. K. Chesterton who, in the early 1900's, described the coming peril to Western Culture when he wrote about “the intellectual, educational, psychological and artistic over-production, which, equally with economic over-production, threatens the well-being of contemporary civilization. People are inundated, blinded, deafened, and mentally paralyzed by a flood of vulgar and tasteless externals, leaving them no time for leisure, thought, or creation from within themselves."


Think about Chesterton's description and then multiply that effect by the myriad "over-productions" since then.  No wonder we don't know who we are or why we're here.  We are buried in "vulgar and tasteless externals" which have pushed us ever more into being consumers rather than creators of art, literature, conversation, music, relationships.  We live in a mediated culture in which we spend much of our time in situations (internet, e-mail, smart phones) in which we don't really have to be present to another.  In these mediated circumstances we decide how much of ourselves to reveal rather than being in the risky situation of actually sharing the same space where you can't hide the rolling of your eyes or the expansion of your waistline or the impatience reflected in your restless leg. The fact is that even when we're with "real people" we're often checking our text messages, e-mail or posting on Facebook and therefore not truly present to another.


I'm not a Luddite. I own a smart phone (obsolete the moment I walked off the sales floor), I am using a Toshiba laptop I purchased just months ago to type this blog, but I am becoming more aware of how disconnected I've been especially over the past 5 years as my sphere of ministry has expanded to parts of 5 states with more than 200 churches.  "By necessity" I do much of my communication in mediated situations.  No wonder I hate traveling but love it when I actually arrive and get to spend time with people.  It's because that's the way were were made.  It's not good for us to be alone.  We are created in the image of the triune God who enjoys eternal fellowship within the Trinity.


So as a way to begin, here's my conscious choice to slow the flow or short-shrift the drift.  I'm going to stop checking my phone for e-mail when I'm home.  It can wait until morning.  I need some time for "leisure, thought, and creation from within myself."  My wife, children and grandchildren will probably benefit too.

Thank You

As many of you know I have two above average grandchildren, both girls.  The oldest, Raya, has been talking since she was an infant but recently she has begun to condescend to use words we recognize so that we can respond dramatically to what she is saying.  It does my heart good when I realize the words we can understand are “Hi”, “go”, “no”, “yes”, “yeah” and my personal favorite “thank you” (spoken very much like Brenda Lee Johnson on The Closer).  What thrills me as a grandfather and a follower of Jesus is that these words are, for the most part, cordial, respectful, and grateful.  I know Raya will eventually pick up other words (and attitudes), but for now I’m enjoying a granddaughter who is cheerful and grateful. I think I'll work on being like her.

Cataracts and Faith

A couple weeks ago I went to my ophthalmologist to have my eyes examined.  (Even though I think the suggestion from someone is that I should have my head examined.)  It’s been getting more difficult to read road signs and with all the travel I do, that has been a challenge.  It’s not that I can’t see to drive; it’s just that I want those letters to be crisp and easy-to-read.

After the usual puffs of air into the eyes and the “Which is clearer, this or this?” the Doctor told me that he could write me a new prescription but it wouldn’t help the clarity much.  He then showed me the difference.  He was right.  It wasn’t worth the expense to hardly notice a difference.  What he told me at that point is that my vision was being affected by cataracts, particularly in my left eye.

What has been rolling around in my head since then is my expectation that since I went to the Doctor he should have the technology to make it better.  To be fair, he did say I could have cataract surgery in a few years and that would dramatically improve my vision.  This visit for a simple eye test has been a reminder of how much I am a product of my culture.  I assume that since we have made such strides in medicine and technology, there is no problem that cannot be solved by simply applying what is available.  “We can rebuild him. We have the technology.” I heard that for 4 years in the early 70's and I still must believe it somewhere deep inside me.

But much of life is beyond the reach of a technological solution.  And I've had to ask myself, "Is God any less present or faithful or merciful or gracious if there is no wonder cure available for what ails me?"  What about all those millions of people throughout the world who do not live in a world where technology is so readily available?  Do they have to live by faith, but I get to live by faith and technology?  I don’t think so.  And it took my ophthalmologist to remind me that I have this treasure in a jar of clay so that it can be shown that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to me.  I got more from that appointment than I expected.  And while I wish I could see better, I'm glad I went.  The lesson was worth it.

More Questions for and about Rob Bell

Justin Bieber made me miss my stop

About 3 days a week I take the bus to work. Sharon and I have been down to 1 car in Southern California (a cultural anomaly, I know) for more than a year.  This morning I was reading USA Today on my phone when I happened across a headline about Justin Bieber's faith and how explicit it is in his new film (which, for the life of me, I can't understand being made, let alone in 3D, but that's a blog for another time).  When I glanced up I saw a McDonald's on the left side of the bus.  There is no McDonalds on the left side of the bus on the route to my office until you are past my office.  Yep.  That would be it.  I had missed my stop because I was reading about Justin Bieber's faith (and the fact that Katy Perry is the child of two pastors, as I understand it).  So I had a wonderful 15 minute walk BACK to my office.  Good exercise, but I kept muttering, "I missed my stop because I was reading about Justin Bieber?  What does this say about me?  What would my friends think?"

So I decided to be proactive and tell you how this incident relates to the book of Ezekiel.  In chapter 18 Ezekiel is addressing the Diaspora's objections to God judging Judah.  "Isn't it true, Ezekiel, that if God judges Judah, He's doing so because of what their father's did?"  Ezekiel responds to the question with a story about a godly man who fathers a child who grows up to live an ungodly life.  In turn, that ungodly man fathers a child who grows up to live a godly life.  In each case Ezekiel points out that ultimately the decision to follow, in this case YHWH, is a personal choice regardless of who the parent is.  (Obviously Ezekiel had never read the promise in Proverbs that says if I just train a child to be a Christian I can't lose.  Oh wait, that isn't a promise?  It's a proverbility?  Oh....)

Anyway, it turns out that Justin Bieber is the child of a single teen mom who came to faith in Jesus. Justin shares that faith with his mom.  Now he wants others to know Jesus.  And then there is Katy Perry who comes from parents who are both pastors who didn't let her listen to secular music. She attended Christian School and camps.  She grew up to record "I kissed a girl" and "Ur so gay."  (I want to point out these songs were not recorded by the Christian record label she had signed to earlier in her career.) She recently was married in a "traditional Hindu ceremony."  It's a sobering reminder that we who know Jesus need to parent in a way that honors God, but we don't get guarantees on how that will be lived out by our children.  I don't know about you, but I keep praying for my kids.

And all this because I missed my bus stop...

We have sinned and grown old...

Raya, my above-average granddaughter, is at that stage where almost everything is worth doing repeatedly.  In his book, "Orthodoxy," G.K. Chesterton writes, "A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, 'Do it again'; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exalt in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, 'Do it again' to the sun; and every evening, 'Do it again' to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but He has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we."


Here is a video which, so far, I have not grown tired of.  Maybe it's because she belongs to me.  Maybe it's because she is so cute.  Maybe it's because I am getting younger.