Meandering

I am currently reading A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God, Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Larry Osborne. In the chapter entitled, "The Case for Meandering," Larry writes, "Have you ever noticed that most of our programs and models for spiritual development follow a strict linear pattern?...Yet, if we stop and look back at our own spiritual journey, few of us will find anything close to a neatly laid out linear path. For most of us, the road to spiritual growth and maturity is more like a meandering path punctuated by occasional stretches of unexpected twists and turns...In reality, most spiritual growth happens on a haphazard need-to-grow or need-to-know basis. As life happens, we're suddenly confronted with the need for personal growth or more biblical information in an area of life that up to now hasn't seemed all that important."

I certainly echo Larry's observation. While it has been good to be in Bible studies that have given me some foundation of understanding who God is and what He has done and what He expects of His children, most of my spiritual growth has come during those need-to-grow and need-to-know times when what I thought was true about myself or God was challenged by the messy-ness of life. It was in those seasons I was able to move from a strictly cognitive understanding of God's truth to an experiential understanding of God's truth.

Those who know me have heard me tell of those class notes from Multnomah School of the Bible (the finest Bible college in the world) at the top of which I had scrawled, "Damned through Multnomah School of the Bible." Those were the days when what I was "learning" was simply information. I had no way to really tell if or when I might need to know that information. But in the ensuing years, as I've walked with God, it has been half-remembered class notes and, much more often, brothers and sisters in Christ, who have pointed me to the truth I needed to know and live during those seasons of having what I thought I knew challenged by the daily-ness of life.

If you've been a Christian longer than about a week you already know that there is no FastTrak® pass or Express Lane to get you to maturity. It is a "long obedience in the same direction."

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...

This is a copy of what I've written to the church where I've been privileged to serve the past 10 months. It reflects my ambivalence at having to make yet another transition, but it also, I hope, reveals my heart for this group of believers in Jesus.

"August 31 will be my last day on the payroll of EFCHB. The EFCAWest district has asked me to come on full-time with them as Director of Administration and Credentialing. As my time with you is winding down I want to take a moment to thank you, as a Body, for enfolding Sharon and I. You may have noticed recently that when I use the pronoun "we" these days, it refers to EFCHB. That demonstrates, in a small way, that Sharon and I have made a significant transition. Most of you know that after 16 years with a wonderful group of people on the Central Coast of California, the move to Orange County has been quite traumatic. You have helped us be less home sick and we appreciate that.

Looking back on our 10 months together, I am quick to confess that I have not always done things the way they should have been done. I have moved too quickly on some changes, not quickly enough on others. I have pushed too hard in some areas and not hard enough in others. It’s a lot like parenting, you see, in that you never get it quite right and you don’t know how you’re doing until you see how your children are turning out.

Recently I likened my early months at EFCHB to a two-year-old who plants beans in his mom’s garden and then digs them up each day to see if their growing. I’ve been impatient at times, knowing that my time with you was going to be short. When you look back at my time with you I hope you will do what I want my own children to do: 'Remember the good things, forgive the bad things and know that I love you.' "