Now If I Could Just Figure Out How We Did It...

I have three amazing adult children. My oldest is the Director of Personnel at a school for children of missionaries (Third Culture Kids). My middle is involved with her local church as an AWANA staff member and children's choir director. My youngest has just accepted a position as Jr High Pastor at his church.

The fact that my three grew up in a pastor's home, and yet they are each deeply, personally involved in ministry (two of them vocationally) is astounding and incredibly satisfying. I know there are miles to go before they sleep, but the fact that at ages 29, 25 and 23 they are following Jesus and have committed significant portions of their time, money and energy in doing so, is a blessing almost beyond words.

Don't get me wrong. Their involvement doesn't automatically mean they are more "spiritual" than their peers. But it does mean that they get it. Following Jesus is not something you do simply on Sunday. Or when it's convenient. It is a life-long series of choices to intentionally invest in a relationship with God and with people.

The other thing that brings a smile to my face and a deep joy is knowing that however well or poorly I have pastored over the years, at least it wasn't so bad that my kids decided they would never want to be part of ministry. They haven't run in the other direction. They have run toward Jesus. That's not something I can put on a resume, but it is something that will bring a "well done" from God. Now if I could just figure out how we did it. I guess like most things that honor God, it is part of the mystery of God's work in me and my response to Him. I'm just glad I get to be part of it.

Living with Dis-ease

My friends will tell you that the past year, with its many transitions, has been difficult for me. Just about the time I think we're done transitioning, we move into another permutation of life. Sharon and I have had to decide how we were going to respond to the many changes. We could sit around and complain to whomever would listen, or we could embrace the changes and look for the grace of God and the lessons from God in the changes. While we have certainly done the former to some extent, I am pleased to say we have mostly done the latter. We have seen God do things in us and through us that would not have been part of our life if we had stayed where we were and failed to follow God into this new season.

Some of my friends have bemoaned my current situation where I am not preaching weekly. I share their dismay that God would ask me to enter this place of ministry where one of my primary gifts is not being exercised in its usual context. Yet in this place, God is doing things in me as I trust Him. Especially as I trust Him to know what He's doing with me. (In this case its mostly, I think, about reminding me that He is not overly impressed with my abilities, He's more impressed with my willingness to trust Him. He can find many who can preach. Fewer who are willing to trust Him.) He's giving me the privilege of serving Him in areas that stretch my abilities and my comfort zone. The outcome of this is that any good that results from what I do more clearly comes from God's strength and grace than my abilities and spiritual gifts. In other words, God gets more glory because I can't say, "Aw, shucks, it tweren't nothin'" because it really is something. Something that God is doing with me, but also beyond me as I press into Him. In my former ministry it was sometimes easy to slip into, "Here's what's going to happen, so I just need to do this." In this season it is more often, "What is God going to do in this situation?" I do what I am able, then God does what I could never do.

It's been difficult. It's been rewarding. It's been a wild ride. It reminds me of the season after I left a church I loved in Orange County more than 20 years ago. It was one of the hardest seasons in my life. But I wouldn't trade what I learned about God and what I learned about me for all the comfort Orange County (or the world) has to offer.