Expectations

Sharon and I continue to work through Peter Scazzero's book, "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality." The chapter for this week talks about expectations. Pete suggests that, for most of us, most of our expectations are
Unconscious: we're not even aware we have them
Unrealistic: those around us cannot live up to them
Unspoken: we've never bothered to actually tell others what we expect of them
Un-agreed upon: the others in our life have never agreed to even attempt to fulfill our expectations because the expectations are unrealistic or because they are unaware of our expectations

As a result, we are disappointed or angry with the others in our life because they have let us down. In many cases without even knowing we had expectations for them.

Pete writes that expectations are only valid when they have been mutually agreed upon. Then he asks the rhetorical question about what would happen if we made our expectations
Conscious
Realistic
Spoken
Agreed upon

The challenge for us is to either change how we view our expectations or lower our expectations.

Now here's the "what if" for those of you who graciously read this blog. The Holiday season is notorious for unmet expectations. What if we worked on making our expectations conscious, realistic, spoken and agreed upon? It doesn't take much reflection to come to the conclusion that we will probably enjoy our Holidays much more because we'll be living in truth rather than fantasy. That is my prayer for you.

Listening to Christmas Music

Beginning back in the early 70's, while in college, I began listening to Christmas music early each October. Recently it's become more like early November, but the concept is the same. I hate to waste perfectly good music and lyrics by avoiding them until a few days before the day that's been designated to help us remember that God became flesh and lived among us (and has also become freighted with expectations of family reunions and snow).

My taste in music, as well as most other areas of life, can best be described as eclectic. This year, for instance, I purchased Bela Fleck's Christmas album, "Jingle All the Way" and Sara Grove's Christmas album, "O Holy Night." Beyond the obvious difference in titles, Fleck's album includes Tuvan throat singing (Look it up. Hint: Tuvans live in Siberia, just north of Mongolia) and some fascinating combinations of instruments. Grove's album is mellow and features a wonderful reading of the Christmas story by small children. Only 4 of the 17 cuts on Fleck's album are overtly Christian while only 1 cut on Grove's album is not focused on the significance of Christ's coming ("Toy Packaging" is the title and it is a charming ode to the frustration of trying to get gifts out of the hard plastic cases where they have been sealed into an almost impenetrable cocoon.) Fleck's album contains a masterful rendition of Bach's Christmas Oratorio featuring English Horn, violin and banjo. Yes, banjo. Grove's album ends with a haunting, aching rendition of "Breath of Heaven" which can bring you to tears.

So, instead of fruitcake this year, you can get me iTunes cards so I can increase my repertoire since I currently only have 415 Christmas songs for a total of 23.9 hours of Christmas music. :)

Loving Well

My son already knows this because I've told him so, but I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what a godly young man he's become and what a wise decision he made in his choice for a wife. Like the rest of us, Jon is a sinner in need of redemption. But having received that redemption through faith in Jesus Christ, he has also become very intentional about living out the implications of that redemption. He loves God. He loves his family. He loves his fiance. He loves the Jr. Highers (now that would be amazing grace for most of us) and their parents among whom he is privileged to minister. Jon is learning to love well and is well-loved. Jon chose carefully the woman he will love exclusively for the rest of his life. And his parents couldn't be happier with his choice. (We've already decided that she is, without doubt, going to be our favorite daughter-in-law.)

A Little More Closure

Last weekend I was privileged to participate in the installation of Santa Margarita Community Church's new pastor, Robert Campbell. As Robert notes in his blog, Leading from the Middle, it is not often that the former pastor has the joy of being there and rejoicing with his well-loved congregation as they commit themselves to the new pastor and he commits to them. Robert, Julie, Caleb and Meg are already deeply in love with the church community as well as the broader community. SMCC will be well taken care of by this family. For those of you have journeyed with us vicariously through this blog, thanks for praying for us. As the peasant in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" put it, "We're getting better."