As I stood in the kitchen this past weekend talking to my son and my son-in-law, I had one of those surreal moments. "I'm talking to two friends", I thought to myself, "who happen to also be related to me." As we were hoping to have children and then had them and then were raising them, Sharon and I would talk about our goal for them. Those goals never included the type of degree, if any, they would receive from college or the career they would choose. It was always about them loving God and loving others, including Sharon and I. We wanted to always be parents, never buddies, but we did want to have our children be the type of people with whom we could be friends. By God's grace, and with some intentional relationship building, we seem to have arrived there. We will always have the role as parent, and that is as it should be. But we have the added layer of having grown children with whom we like to hang out and, as an added bonus, who like to hang out with us. We aren't pals or peers, but we are friends. And that's a good thing.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Everything Old is New Again
The church where Sharon and I attend has recently had to make the difficult decision to cut back on the hours for some of the paid ministry staff. It is hard for those who have most benefited from the ministry of these staff people to not feel as though they are being discounted as a significant part of the Body of Christ.
What these people are about to learn, if they are willing, is that disciple-making is not really the work of paid staff. It is the work of the Body of Christ. Our 21st century, North American idea that we need to hire experts to do the work of ministry for us is a quite recent and, from a global perspective, quite small geographic and demographic phenomenon. In other words, for most believers in most places at most times in history, and today, the biblical model still holds. The leadership of churches, paid and unpaid, are there to equip the saints to do the work of ministry until we all come to maturity. (Ephesians 4)
Certainly the apostle Paul, himself, said that a laborer is worthy of his hire and that he and other leaders in the early church could and should be remunerated for their work. (1 Corinthians 9) But he also freely gave up that right and he encouraged others to do so and he was clear that the most impacting, long-term ministry would be done by what we have come to call the "lay" people in a church. When the early church leaders established churches, they didn't hire professionals. They discipled people who in turn could disciple others. When we get too far from this concept we run into problems.
Let me state my understanding of biblical teaching. Paid staff (leadership) is there to help equip the Body to do what it should be doing. Women's ministry leaders are there, primarily, to train women to minister to other women, not to minister to women in the place of other women. Youth pastors are there, primarily, to train people to work with youth, not to work with youth on behalf of (and, sadly, sometimes instead of) parents. The examples can be multiplied in the areas of worship, outreach, recovery, etc.
I freely acknowledge that much of the response to the loss of hours for the staff (and the loss of one staff person who simply cannot work part time for the church at this season in his life) is because of the connection with these staff members who have had a significant impact on the lives of people within my church. The staff is loved and appreciated. But what I hope further reflection will do for those who are hurting and who feel as though the church is "going backward" is help them to see that this new season in the life of this church really is about going backward. Back to the biblical model of ministry that is primarily done by the Body of Christ for the Body of Christ and the World.
What these people are about to learn, if they are willing, is that disciple-making is not really the work of paid staff. It is the work of the Body of Christ. Our 21st century, North American idea that we need to hire experts to do the work of ministry for us is a quite recent and, from a global perspective, quite small geographic and demographic phenomenon. In other words, for most believers in most places at most times in history, and today, the biblical model still holds. The leadership of churches, paid and unpaid, are there to equip the saints to do the work of ministry until we all come to maturity. (Ephesians 4)
Certainly the apostle Paul, himself, said that a laborer is worthy of his hire and that he and other leaders in the early church could and should be remunerated for their work. (1 Corinthians 9) But he also freely gave up that right and he encouraged others to do so and he was clear that the most impacting, long-term ministry would be done by what we have come to call the "lay" people in a church. When the early church leaders established churches, they didn't hire professionals. They discipled people who in turn could disciple others. When we get too far from this concept we run into problems.
Let me state my understanding of biblical teaching. Paid staff (leadership) is there to help equip the Body to do what it should be doing. Women's ministry leaders are there, primarily, to train women to minister to other women, not to minister to women in the place of other women. Youth pastors are there, primarily, to train people to work with youth, not to work with youth on behalf of (and, sadly, sometimes instead of) parents. The examples can be multiplied in the areas of worship, outreach, recovery, etc.
I freely acknowledge that much of the response to the loss of hours for the staff (and the loss of one staff person who simply cannot work part time for the church at this season in his life) is because of the connection with these staff members who have had a significant impact on the lives of people within my church. The staff is loved and appreciated. But what I hope further reflection will do for those who are hurting and who feel as though the church is "going backward" is help them to see that this new season in the life of this church really is about going backward. Back to the biblical model of ministry that is primarily done by the Body of Christ for the Body of Christ and the World.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Teach Me to Count My Days
Watching a magnificent series on Masterpiece Theater entitled "Cranford," I am struck by the awareness of death, because of the nearness of death, among these English villagers in the mid-1800's. Pneumonia or fevers from unknown causes bring death to young and old alike. In each case there is, what I consider to be, an appropriate mourning for the loss of someone dearly loved while still recognizing that death comes to all of us sooner or later.
While watching this series, and after recently officiating at a memorial service for a friend's father, I appreciate again the apostle Paul's comments to the Christians living in Thessalonica. "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." Paul does not say Christians could not grieve or should not grieve or would not grieve. Rather, he tells them their grief will be different from those who have no hope. SInce we are assured that those who are part of God's family through Jesus Christ will never be separated from God, we know that truly they are "in a better place."
The second impact is the recognition, again, that my days are few. Whatever I want to do in the way of building or repairing relationships cannot be put off indefinitely. This also means that I must choose carefully those relationships into which I will significantly invest since it is humanly impossible to have deep relationships with everyone I know. In Cranford, it is clear that while the villagers are all a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses, they understand that they are connected and that some relationships will take the majority of time and energy. Much of the bitter-sweet ethos of the series is the way in which misunderstandings and life choices can impact relationships for decades.
Since time is short and relationships are central, it is important for me to periodically evaluate how I am spending my time and with whom I am building relationships. Only three things last forever: God, God's Word and the souls of people. That's where most of my time should be invested.
While watching this series, and after recently officiating at a memorial service for a friend's father, I appreciate again the apostle Paul's comments to the Christians living in Thessalonica. "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." Paul does not say Christians could not grieve or should not grieve or would not grieve. Rather, he tells them their grief will be different from those who have no hope. SInce we are assured that those who are part of God's family through Jesus Christ will never be separated from God, we know that truly they are "in a better place."
The second impact is the recognition, again, that my days are few. Whatever I want to do in the way of building or repairing relationships cannot be put off indefinitely. This also means that I must choose carefully those relationships into which I will significantly invest since it is humanly impossible to have deep relationships with everyone I know. In Cranford, it is clear that while the villagers are all a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses, they understand that they are connected and that some relationships will take the majority of time and energy. Much of the bitter-sweet ethos of the series is the way in which misunderstandings and life choices can impact relationships for decades.
Since time is short and relationships are central, it is important for me to periodically evaluate how I am spending my time and with whom I am building relationships. Only three things last forever: God, God's Word and the souls of people. That's where most of my time should be invested.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Great Joy and Deep Satisfaction
Recently Sharon and I took a road trip to Tucson. All those hours of uninterrupted conversation were wonderful. As I look back at that trip, I am grateful to God for the gift of my wife. Not everyone has a wife who is also their best friend. A recent cartoon showed two characters in a bar. One turns to the other and asks, "So Fred, how's married life changed you?" His friend replied, "Well, I'm not my own worst enemy anymore."
Cynical, yes. But anyone who's been married for more than a couple weeks knows it is hard work and often heart breaking. What many couples never get to is that season of great joy and deep satisfaction that comes from living all those years together and working through the rough times.
During the worst season in our marriage, we both decided it had to be easier to work through all our "stuff" than to start over and live with the impact a divorce would have on us, our children and our friends.
So we made the decision to begin the hard work of allowing God to make changes in each of us. That decision, and the literally hundreds of subsequent and related decisions, usually involved what the apostle Paul described in his letter to the Christians at Philippi: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." It was difficult. It was painful. It took longer than we hoped it would. But that decision, and the hundreds of subsequent decisions, is what brought us to this season of great joy and deep satisfaction.
Cynical, yes. But anyone who's been married for more than a couple weeks knows it is hard work and often heart breaking. What many couples never get to is that season of great joy and deep satisfaction that comes from living all those years together and working through the rough times.
During the worst season in our marriage, we both decided it had to be easier to work through all our "stuff" than to start over and live with the impact a divorce would have on us, our children and our friends.
So we made the decision to begin the hard work of allowing God to make changes in each of us. That decision, and the literally hundreds of subsequent and related decisions, usually involved what the apostle Paul described in his letter to the Christians at Philippi: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." It was difficult. It was painful. It took longer than we hoped it would. But that decision, and the hundreds of subsequent decisions, is what brought us to this season of great joy and deep satisfaction.
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