From June 1996

Having to recently replace my hard drive and restore backed up files, I unearthed this article from 1996.  Especially for those of you who are still parenting children who have not yet "launched," you may find some encouragement in this piece.

There are moments in our lives that serve as markers of the passage of time. As I anticipate my firstborn crossing the platform on Friday night and becoming a high school graduate, I am struck again with the pace at which life flies.

It seems only a few years ago that we were bringing her home after her birth. Only a few years ago she was in kindergarten, playing with her Playskool toys and lighting up the room with her smile (which she can still do). Only a few days ago she was being pushed down the street on her bike by her grandpa in an attempt to teach her to ride her "two wheeler". Only a few moments ago she going to her first Junior High dance, learning to drive, going on a summer-long missions trip. The days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, the months turn into years and suddenly (it seems) she is an adult with plans to have a life all her own.

It becomes increasingly obvious that whatever imprint Sharon and I had hoped to have in her life has already been pressed into her character. When she looks back on her childhood and her adolescence, only she can determine how good a job we did as parents.

My prayer, like generations of parents before me, is that when she looks back, she'll look back in kindness. Like generations of Christians before me, I pray that she will realize that above all else we loved her and what we most desired is that she fall in love with the Savior.

It is at moments like this that I ask the question again, "What does it profit a man if he gain the world and lose his family?" (Schliep paraphrase of Mark 8:36) I don't regret the late night walks around the living room with my baby girl trying to get her to sleep. (I don't miss them either.) I don't regret the nights at "open house", the concerts, the plays, the awards ceremonies, the disagreements over "matters of consequence". I don't regret being unable to buy her a car for graduation. I don't regret the trust I gave and the way she kept that trust. I don't regret what an amazingly balanced adult God has made her because of, and in spite of, me.

I do regret how often I jumped to conclusions. I do regret not asking more questions about how she was doing, really. I do regret that I couldn't model Christ more clearly to her.

One of the things I've learned in my role as a parent is that, as Christians, we need never parent alone. God has given us His wonderful family to keep us balanced. I am eternally grateful for the many adults in this fellowship who have invested their lives in the lives of my children. They have learned from you things they would never have learned from me.

As Kristi launches out into this new season in her life, may she find that, like those young adults who have gone before her, the things she has learned and the things she has seen modeled are those things which have lasting value no matter where her Lord may lead her.