As we arrived in a small mid-western town, we drove through the streets trying to locate the church where we were to stay. Up until now, we had slept in the homes of various friends, strangers, hotels, motels, bed & breakfasts, a KOA Kamper Kabin and, in a few days, we would sleep in our tent. This was the first time we were going to sleep in a church.
We located the church and gave a call to the church secretary to tell her we had arrived. We watched a glorious sunset and looked forward to the quiet of the church and a night on our inflatable mattress. Within 15 minutes the secretary arrived and showed us around the building. It was very nice. There were clean restrooms to use. In the library it was easy to move the chairs to clear a space for our air mattress. We were given access to the church office so we could make phone calls to our children to give them a trip update. We could even plug the laptop into the phone jack to send and receive e-mail. I was feeling fine and looking forward to a quiet evening away from conversations and the sound of the highway. I was content. Until…
Just as the secretary was about to leave, she said, “Usually when we have people passing through, we can easily find a family who will host them for the night, but many people are out of town.” Now as you read that sentence, you may find no reason to raise an eyebrow. We had traveled thousands of miles and, although it was tiring, we had enjoyed the company of friends and strangers. Just a moment before I was perfectly content with my accommodations, but in that one sentence, the secretary had inadvertently and unintentionally raised my expectations. Now instead of looking forward to the quiet and the technological hook-ups, I was focusing on the fact that not a single person in the church had been willing or able to house us for the night. What made matters worse for me is that this woman was obviously not out of town, but wasn’t hosting us. “Why aren’t we staying at your house?” I wanted to ask. Fortunately, over the years I really have grown up a lot (contrary to the opinion of some) and I kept my question to myself.
What this episode pointed out was my own twisted heart. Where moments before I was thankful and rejoicing that we would not have to sleep outside (it was beginning to rain), now I was discontent that I wasn’t staying in someone’s home. Nothing had changed in my circumstances except my expectation. I went from contentment to discontentment in the space of one sentence. How often this same shift has occurred in my life. Most often it is not as dramatic or noticeable, but it happens none the less. I am grateful to God for His gracious gifts and His merciful hand, and then I wonder where He has gone and why He left no forwarding address.
The apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian Christians, “Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” (Philippians 4:11-13, MsgB)
I can’t say that I have learned (past tense) to be quite content whatever my circumstances. But I am learning (present tense) to be quite content. Paul had to go through the “I am learning” stage in order to reach the “I have learned” stage. It is the only way we grow in our understanding and application of God’s truth. It is that tension of the now and the not yet. Contentment is not something that appears in our life full grown. It is something that, like Paul, we learn through the process of circumstance after circumstance where our contentment is challenged.
What was encouraging to me is that my discontent following the secretary’s statement lasted only the briefest of moments. And I’m content with that.
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