Recently I’ve been going through my desk drawers as I’ve
moved my office from a “real” office space into one half of our garage. As I sorted through the various birthday and
father’s day cards from my children and my wife I tossed most of them due to space
limitations after weeping openly from the words they wrote. I always long to be the husband and father
they think I am.
One of the cards I kept is from January 2012. My birthday is January 1 (yes, the world
waits through the night to celebrate my birthday in a loud and colorful
fashion) and is a two-fer when it comes to looking back and looking
forward. It is my birthday and it is the
beginning of a new year. A quasi-blank
calendar awaits me. In this particular
card Sharon wrote, “I pray that 2012 will be a kinder, gentler year, and we’ll
find ourselves welcoming whatever joys, challenges or changes God brings us.”
Within a few weeks Sharon had been diagnosed with breast
cancer and the next 18 months were highlighted by surgery, chemotherapy, radiation
and infusions of antibodies. Not exactly
what Sharon envisioned as she wrote the card.
Yet, ironically, these experiences did in fact bring joy, challenge and
change.
Through all the ups and downs, physically and emotionally,
there was a deep, abiding, underlying experience of joy. Not joy in the cancer or the treatment or the
potential outcome, but joy in knowing that God had not stepped off His throne
while this was going on. We experienced
His presence throughout this season of life.
There was a quiet joy in reading together, walking together and just
sitting quietly together.
The challenges were many.
From falling hair to rising expenses.
From fixing meals to fixing our eyes on Jesus. From planning a year ahead to appreciating today.
The changes were dramatic.
Walking half marathons together became walking the halls of Kaiser
together. Reading labels on food and
products became mandatory rather than optional.
The ability to plan ahead with a significant expectation that those
plans would actually happen became experiencing the truth of James’
admonishment to live in the realm of “Lord willing.”
Sharon’s card, sincere and loving, is a reminder that what
we often think our lives will look like doesn’t always match the lives that God
has in mind for good and for His glory.
And through these seasons we’re learning to “welcome whatever joys,
challenges or changes God brings us.”
