Even if...

I'm reading through the Bible again this year (although I only started a few days ago). I've gotten through Genesis 18 so far. What struck me today is how often Abraham (and others before and after him) had questions for God. And how often he questioned God. The distinction between the two is that one seeks information, the other seeks a Plan B. (Both responses, by the way, are quite natural. God tends to be far more gracious about the question that seeks more information than the question that seeks an alternative. But with both, He knows that we are limited. Notice the response of Zechariah, the father of John the baptizer in contrast to Mary, the mother of Jesus the Messiah in Luke 1. Similar questions, but different responses from God. Zechariah's seems to question God's ability, Mary's seems to question the logistics, as it were.)

What began to roll around in my head is how often over the years people have said to me (and I have sometimes thought to myself), "Why doesn't God show Himself to me. Then I would believe. Then I would follow Him. I would have no question about His existence or His authority."

The Biblical narrative says different. The Biblical story, in fact, tells us that even if God were to show up in your bedroom some night, you'd still have questions and you'd still question. In other words, our problem is deeper than simply needing some sort of external "proof" of God's existence. We are so broken that even if God deigned to appear in a way that you could see, you would still remain, at your core, unconvinced to some degree. That's how self-focused we are.

It reminds me of the time early in our relationship when Sharon flew to Coeur d'Alene to visit me without my knowing about it. She plotted with my parents to keep it a secret. I came home from spending time with friends and walked into my bedroom. There, sitting in a chair in the corner of my bedroom, was Sharon. I looked at her, turned and walked out of the room. I could not take in the fact that Sharon was in Idaho. I had just spoken with her the day before. She was in Redondo Beach, CA, not Coeur d'Alene, ID. It just didn't fit.

In the same way, when we encounter God in His word we are expecting it to fit our paradigm, our understand of life and how it works. It is no wonder that we are conflicted with what He reveals about Himself and the way life really works. We're living in Cd'A and He's in Redondo Beach. The worlds cannot occupy the same space. But that's the beauty, isn't it? He leaves His home to come into our space. He condescends to communicate. And as difficult as it is for us to comprehend, He continually shows us who He is and what He has done for us. Slowly, over time, we ask less questions and we question Him less, but it will never go away completely because He is God and we are not.

So our response, really, is always about faith whether we have had a direct, physical encounter with God or a "secondary" encounter by means of Scripture. Either way, we need to moving toward the place where we trust Him. And then live accordingly.