Eschew Obfuscation

This past Saturday Sharon and I had a yard sale to try to sell off many items of ours, but also of Anina’s.  Since her passing in April, Sharon has been going through Anina's closets and dressers and had finally gathered all the items that should be sold or given away.

On Saturday I parked our van out near a busy intersection with a sign that read, Yard Sale, 7-12.  It also had an arrow pointing toward our house.

When I was about to walk back from our van to the house a couple pulled up behind the van and wanted to know if the sale was next Saturday.  I told them it was today and sent them on toward the house.  Later in the morning someone else at the sale asked if we were holding it both that day and next Saturday. Finally it dawned on us that people were reading 7-12 not as the hours of the sale (which was our intent) but the date of the sale (which happens to be the date for next Saturday).

What a vivid reminder that communication is always a challenge.  We thought it was obvious that 7-12 indicated the hours of the sale (I did go back later and add AM and PM to try to make it clearer).  Why would you post a sign for a yard sale the following week?  Even those of us who like to plan ahead would not post signs a week ahead for a yard sale.  But what was so clear in our heads was not so clear on the poster.

In marriages and churches the challenge is the same.  What is so clear in our own heads fails to communicate when it is spoken or written.  Our experience last Saturday reminded me how careful we need to be in communicating clearly but also how often we fail to communicate what we mean and need to clarify.  Our challenge is both to be willing to give more information when it is obvious the person doesn’t understand and also the need for all of us to ask for clarification when we don’t understand in a way that doesn’t have an edge to it.  (Those of you who have painted or wallpapered or done remodeling with your spouse know what I’m talking about.)

Sharon and I have gotten better at this over the years but we still hit days or short seasons when it seems the other person must be talking a foreign language or they are simply not being clear.  And churches even more so.  Just go visit a new church and see how difficult it is to know what’s going on or who to contact or where things are.

It happens to all of us.  Let’s eschew obfuscation and be willing to ask for clarification with grace and be willing to offer clarification with grace.  The effort is worth in the long run.