A Living Memorial

In January when my mother-in-law Anina said she wanted to see Jesus in 2014, Sharon and I began talking with her about what she wanted for her memorial service.  As it began looking more likely Anina will get her wish to be with Jesus before the year ends, we wanted to celebrate her birthday AND host a “living memorial,” a time when people could give their eulogy directly to Anina.  Anina refused.  She thought it would seem “proud” for her to accept the opportunity for people to speak highly of her to her face.  Sharon, being the wise woman she is, approached Anina a few weeks later about having a birthday/retirement party.  Anina agreed to that.  (A rose by any other name…)

Last Saturday we were able to celebrate Anina’s 97^th birthday (one week early) and have some of her friends and family over to the house to articulate to her what she means to them.

Rather than sitting Anina in the living room and having the more than 60 people overwhelm her, we had 2 or 3 people in her bedroom (which I wanted to label the Sanctum Sanctorum) at a time to chat, pray with and encourage Anina.

The day was exhausting for Anina, but it also blessed her deeply.  We saw more than a few come out of the bedroom wiping tears, so the blessing was mutual.

Not everyone gets a timeline on their death, but for those who do let me recommend that you plan a memorial service of sorts while they are still alive to appreciate it.  After what happened last Saturday, Anina’s public memorial service will be a bit anticlimactic for me.  Those of us in attendance at her “real” memorial service will be comforted in our loss, but the good stuff was said while Anina could still hear and understand it.  I don’t think it even went to her head, making her proud.  Instead she felt loved and appreciated.  It doesn’t get much better than that.