Great, Now I Have Guilt

Today there are no appointments on my calendar and no tasks that really HAVE to be done.  Because I’m in Minneapolis there are no chores to do around my house.  I have no meetings at EFCA because I’m on sabbatical.  I’m trying to remember the last time I wasn’t on vacation but found myself with an entire unspoken-for day.  Even my weekly Sabbath includes attending church.

I slept in until 8:45.  I sauntered downstairs for the hotel’s forgettable breakfast.  I’ve read and answered some email, read my Bible, journaled and spent some time in prayer.  I showered but not shaved.  I sat to write a blog and this is what came out.

The funny thing is that I feel some pressure to decide what I will do for the rest of the day.  Unfortunately the Spurs game is on NBA TV which the hotel does not have in its lineup (nor do I at home).  And who cares about the Eastern Conference games?  My biggest decisions are whether to go downtown to the Spaghetti Factory or eat at Famous Dave’s at MOA.

Can you feel the tension mounting?  What happens if I reach the end of the day and have done nothing of significance?  What if Sharon, who has so many projects related to her mom’s memorial service on Saturday, finds out I slept part of the day and watched old episodes of Leverage?  As the dinosaur in Toy Story says, "Great, now I have guilt."

I have always claimed I do not find my significance in what I do.  Today I was reminded that that is a lie.  It’s not where I find my greatest significance, but it often runs a close second.  Know what I mean?

Well, I have to go now.  I have nothing to do but I have to hurry up and not do it.  It will make me feel better.