Here Comes the Boom

[My wife Sharon wrote about this Thai experience on her CaringBridge blog and I commend her writing to you.  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sharonschliep/journal]

The first few mornings in Thailand we were awakened by what sounded like cannon fire. This is done to acknowledge that a person has died during the night.  Sometimes there were six or seven “shots” during a morning.

I am sure that in a city the size of Huntington Beach the death rate is at least the same as this community of Doi Saket, but we do nothing to publicly announce someone’s passing.  Even the newspaper which used to carry the obituary of almost everyone who died now only highlight a few that may be of interest to the reader.

We send out birth announcements, graduation announcements and wedding announcements.  We do not, typically, send out death announcements.  In fact it seems we want to pretend that no one dies.  Which leaves those closest to the deceased feeling alone and lonely.

It was not so long ago that the majority of deaths occurred at home.  At the end of World War II, only 40% of deaths occurred in hospitals.  The recent numbers indicate that 60% of Americans die in acute care hospitals and 20% in nursing homes and only 20% at home.  The number of those dying in America outside the home (and their family) has basically doubled.  Yet recent surveys indicate that 80% of Americans would prefer to die at home.

In his book, “The Christian Art of Dying,” Allen Verhey writes, “Death was not a solitary event.  Like life, it happened in community.  And death happened not only in community but also to the community.  It was a communal loss, and both grief and comfort were communal tasks.  Together they held tight to their humanity in the face of the sad truths of suffering and death.”

We can’t always influence the when or how of someone’s dying but we can do something about celebrating their life and grieving their death.  We can make sure that their passing is noted.  We can make sure that their death will not be like Scrooge’s in which the only people who note his passing are those who have something to gain from his proceeds.  Whether it is a memorial service, a funeral, a celebration or a cannon boom, we can note their life by acknowledging their death.