Biblical Dating and the Importance of Words

A few days ago my niece’s post on Facebook indicated someone in her church would be preaching on Biblical Dating.  I was tired, a condition in which I should never respond to Facebook posts.  But I did.  On Facebook I basically wrote that since dating is never mentioned in the Bible I wondered how one could preach on biblical dating.  One can preach on “Dating in Light of Other Truths Found in the Bible” but that obviously is not as catchy a title for the session.

At first I thought I was just being contrarian, but it only took a moment to be reminded how dangerous it is when we Christians use biblical or Christian as adjectives.  [Technically biblical is an adjective, but Christian is actually a noun too often used as an adjective.]  Some of you have been around when I get talking about this issue.  It’s one of my big concerns for the sloppiness of our use of words.

As soon as we use biblical or Christian as an adjective we are giving our topic or object a weight that it may or may not have.  Take biblical dating, for instance. If the presenter is honest at the beginning he will have said, “The bible teaches nothing about dating.  Let’s close in prayer.”  But my guess is that he didn’t do that.  Therefore he subtly is imbuing his view of how Christians who are single should relate to other Christians who are single (you will notice I did not refer to them as Christian singles because that would be using Christian as an adjective) with the authority of “this is the biblical view of dating.”

Let me be clear.  I do believe that what is in the Bible is true and inerrant.  I do believe that what is in the Bible gives us insight on how to live in all areas of our life, even those not specifically mentioned in Scripture.  For instance the Bible is almost silent on specifics as to how children should be raised or how married couples should interact with each other, yet I believe there are truths in Scripture that inform how we live in both of those roles.  But because the Bible is not very specific we have much freedom in what each of those roles looks like.  As long as how we live as parents or spouses does not violate something clearly taught in Scripture such as honor all people, love your neighbor or even love your enemy we are free to figure out what parenting or spousing looks like as a Christian.  Because of this there is no such thing as “growing kids God’s way” or “biblical dating.”

Here’s an experiment.  For the next 14 days never use Christian as an adjective (No Christian music only music performed by Christians.  No Christian book stores only stores owned by Christians. No Christian jewelry only jewelry made by Christians.) or biblical as an adjective for something not specifically addressed in Scripture (No biblical parenting only parenting based on other truths found in Scripture.  No biblical forms of government only government that reflects truth found in Scripture more than others.)  See how this begins to remind you that there is much to be said in Scripture on how to live each day, but Scripture does not specifically address everything explicitly and therefore there is freedom in how we live out this relationship with God through Jesus.