The Third Son

"Tell me what you think of this story: A man had two sons. He went up to the first and said, 'Son, go out for the day and work in the vineyard.' The son answered, 'I don't want to.' Later on he thought better of it and went. The father gave the same command to the second son. He answered, 'Sure, glad to.' But he never went. Which of the two sons did what the father asked?" They said, "The first." Jesus said, "Yes…” Matthew 21:28-31a (The Message)

One of the fascinating aspects of this story is that there is no third son who said, “Sure, glad to” and then immediately did the will of his father.  The only two options are the son who said he wouldn’t, but did and the son who said he would, but didn’t.  Why no third son in the story?  Is it because Jesus understands so clearly how broken we are and how self-focused we are?  Jesus gives the high priests and elders only two sons to choose from.  Maybe Jesus understood that, given their bent toward self-righteousness, the high priests and elders will self-identify as the third son.  Certainly no one wants to admit being the fourth son who says, "I won't" and then doesn't.

When faced with only two options the high priests and leaders are forced to choose the first son because only the first son actually did what his father asked.  Only one son did his father’s will.  For Jesus, it seems, the first issue is obedience.  It may take some time before one obeys, but the bottom line is doing the will of the father.  It is, according to Jesus, far better to balk initially, think better of it and obey than to feign obedience and never follow through.

Which brings me to this season in my life.  When it comes to my sabbatical, I still miss Rachel.  (Please refer to my earlier blogs, "When Your Son [Father] or Ox Falls in the Well," and “Waking With Leah” for context.)  When my father, my mother-in-law, my wife and my grandchildren need me, my first inward response is often that of the first son, “I don’t want to.”  But like that first son I think better of it, most times quite soon after the first inner response, and go.  I have no doubt that my father, my mother-in-law, my wife and my grandchildren have on more than one occasion sensed the hesitation.  That split second pause. But I also have no doubt that they would rather have that short reluctance followed by my availability than for me to keep promising I’ll get around to caring for them but never actually doing it.

Lest you think I’m some kind of saint, (Actually I am but that’s a blog for another time.) I want you to know that this dying to myself business is hard.  I don’t enjoy it.  It doesn’t come naturally.  It gets in the way of my plans.  But it does the will of the Father.  And from the lips of His own Son I hear that it is better, given the premise that there are only two sons, to be the first son than the second.

Therefore because I love my Father, my father, my mother-in-law, my wife and my grandchildren, I will continue to make being the first son my goal while seeking to become more like the unmentioned third son.  The son who answers, “Sure, glad to” and then immediately does what his father asks.  In the meantime both I and those around me would much prefer I be the first son than the second.